Things I Eat: Raw Brownies

Me: Uhh. . .What do normal people eat? I can do raw vegan brownies.
D: By RAW you mean, organic ….. of are you thinking of just bringing In the Batter to sell lol
Me: WHOA, missy. No, I mean raw as in uncooked. I make a lot of raw desserts. I don’t freaking have time to. . .what. . .turn on an oven? WHOA. I like things to be the shortest distance between acquisition and my mouth. The brownies I make require no cooking. They are perfectly acceptable to eat raw I’m going to. . . .Blow. Your. Mind.

Isn't this how all charity bake sale conversations go in the world? No? Yes? Maybe? I'm not even going to talk about how the words "raw" and "organic" and stuff like that have been so miscombobulated, we don't even know what anything means.

I cannot take any credit for this, by the way. It is a recipe by Emily von Euw. Really, can't prefect it anymore than it already is.

What You Need

• 1 cup oats
• 1 cup cashews 
• 2 cups dates (pitted, I also chopped them up a little)
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder (you can use a little more or less)
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons ground coffee beans (optional but recommended)
• Pinch of salt

What You Do
What I did – first, I did soak the cashews for the first batch. It didn’t make any difference. Note to self.

Then I did cut up my dates into 6ths? I’m not sure. I found if I cut up the date, in half and maybe half again, they processes better and I get a better measurement of them. I used a carton of dates from Wegmans – it was about 10.5oz.

Beyond that, I put everything into mu food processor and blend, blend, blend!

It turned into a pretty dark mixture pretty fast. I think I added a little more coconut oil but it was pretty sticky and the cashews were pretty chopped up.

I did handle the dough a bit and rolled it out. I did my best to cut it into squares but I suck at so many things. It is easier to roll it out and then pop it in the fridge (per the recipe) then cut and serve. The cold helps make it easier to cut and handle, you don’t need to keep it refrigerated.

The Bake Sale
For the bake sale, most of my stuff went. I had a couple bags of it left over which I ate. As someone who doesn't like chocolate, these were actually pretty good. I enjoyed. I would eat again. And make.

I did put out a small plate with free sample and that really helped. So many people get turned off by the word “vegan” it’s crazy! When they sampled, they liked it. Most went on to get donuts and the store-bought stuff but some did buy my brownies. Nice!

Even my Honey Badger loved 'em!

Don’t WebMD That: Part 2

If you need a update, check out Don’t WebMD That. If you need a summary, here it is:

• My stomach was on MOFU FIRE.
• I went to a local walk-in clinic – I had an ultrasound.
• It was determined I had an ulcer.
• Oh, and my liver was enlarged. An enlarged liver is main caused by cirrhosis, heart failure, obesity, cancer/tumors or hepatitis.
• I went to another doctor.

Doctors Suck
I went to my old primary care office place thing and went to a doctor my Dad recommended as, you know, a “smart guy.” In the common world, the longer you are in school, the smarter you are. I hate doctors. Ok, I mean, I don’t HATE them  but I know most doctors do NOT have the best interest of patients in mind.

I look forward to be proven wrong.

I was not in this case.

The Nurse
I’m really awkward. I'm going to freely and fully admit that.

The nurse calls me back and I stumbled around for a minute in this narrow hall where the scale to weigh me is. Because it was -2 degrees outside and there is no place to store/hang your objects - I annoyed the nurse off the bat with my inability to place all my stuff on the floor fast enough.

To give you an idea, this is the amount of stuff I wear sitting at my desk - #TundaCube

I don't mind weighing 210lbs. The nurse did. I had to take off a couple layers.

Ok, nurse, Let me stumble around in this random hallway taking off my boots, coat, messenger bag, scarf, gloves. . .WHY DO YOU HATE ME, JUDGY NURSE WHO WORKS IN A CLIMATE CONTROLLED OFFICE?!

Many annoyed sighs later - I had stacked all my stuff on the floor. She even proved to me how annoying I was by taking a step back. Also, they had this electronic height thing. Man, did I get some evil looks for not understanding how THAT operated. Sorry, I didn't have my installed yet.

Then I got more dirty looks when I asked how tall I was and she told me in inches.

Me: Ok, what’s that in feet?
Nurse: *BIG SIGH* 5’6.
Me: (nervous laugh) I lost an inch. Haha. 

Then she got all weird. I stopped growing at 18 - Which would CLEARLY have been in my charts. Maybe I lost an inch, maybe not? I don't know. Just sort of fun, right? RIGHT? Not a big deal, I sort of laughed about it. .trying to be friends.

Nurse: What does it say on your driver's license?
Me: Mm . . . 5’7
Nurse: *disapproval*

Obviously. I’ll be sure to get that corrected ASAP, lady. I mean, I did just tell you I thought I was 5’7 and when you get a driver’s licenses, they don’t measure you, you just write it down.

She equally didn't like how I was trying to get back into my shoes. My amazing Impo Oma Platform Stretch Bootie - look at it! Look at me struggle to get into them!

You know what? Screw you nurse-pants.

She was already pissed I had to collect all my stuff and didn't have enough hands. Thankfully, I got it all together before she vanished down the hall to the exam room. So, then the nurse takes me to the room to ask me – again – why I’m there.

Me: I’m here because I had an ultrasound and I have an enlarged liver.
Nurse: Are you sure?

I think I should get points for sitting in silence rather than telling her how I think the medical establishment sucks and she and all doctors are some of the worst people in the world to me. I also wish she or someone she loves slowly dies from the illnesses I suffered from so she can proudly tell them, "you can't have it" in that preachy way. . .but. .I didn't.

I actually do not wish anyone to have to endure what I did. Both the sickness and the silence. To this day, my family and friends brush 15 years of my life off as a "no big deal" situation. It's a mixture of ignorance, disbelief and facts that have been suppressed. I just merely. . got better.

Then she took my blood pressure. It hurt.

The Doctor
After a couple minutes, in walks the doctor. What does he say to me? “Where have you been?”

Where have I been? You don’t even know me, dude. What do you mean, “Where have I been?” Where have YOU been?

Anyhow, awkward conversation ensues because I don’t have the mental ability to recover from, “Where have you been?” I mean, I went to college. I lived in a couple places . . . mm . . . I . . . I don’t know what you want from me!?

Then I realized, I haven’t been to this practice for about 15 years? I was in at some point a few years ago to pick up a Z-Pack that was about it. I told him I had been sick with Lyme and he said, “oh, everyone has that.”

Oh. Well, I had the PICC line, heart damage, infection in my brain and my spleen almost exploded. I also had Bartonella and Babesiosis. My immune system shut down so I got pneumonia and also thrush. My last bout of thrush was about six months ago because of my adrenal situation. . .

Wait for it. .he said. .can you guess? “You couldn't have gotten all that.”

Obviously you are not interested my medical history, and you aren’t really going to understand why I went to another doctor when a simple Western Blot that could have been administered in this very office when I was 18 had the potential to save me 10 years of agony but was denied because “I couldn’t be sick with that”. . . so, let’s get down to brass tacks.

I brought my test results and he checked them out and did an abdominal exam. Those things are so painful, seriously. Just push my organs around and ask me how I’m feeling.

He first determined the enlarged liver had nothing to do with the ulcer – which I was treating and was doing fine. Way to go. I didn't need any additional treatment for the ulcer since the OTC drugs I was on was doing just fine.

Back to the enlarged liver – he asked me about 5 times if I was in an abusive relationship. I appreciate this, even though it annoyed me. Honestly, you have to keep asking people these questions because they often don’t want to admit it. He said if I had a sexual partner who ever had another sexual partner – I could have hepatitis. So, he was going to check me for that.

Then he said I needed a TDAP vaccine – that’s Tetanus, Diphtheria and Pertussis. Because I might be around kids and. .it’s good to have. I agreed to it.

At least, I got actions! I got a blood test to rule in or rule out some type of illness that directly could cause my liver to enlarge. I was happy with that because normally I get a shrug and told to come back later to see how things are.

Blood Lady
I got my blood draw and I asked a question that immediately pisses all Pantomimists – “are you good at this?” I didn't ask in those words. I mentioned something people have difficulty getting blood from. And I showed her my two arms.

Nurse: Whatever arm you want me to use.
Me: Up to you, sometimes it’s hard for people to get blood from me.
Nurse: You have a lot of veins. Whatever arm.
Me: You’re drawing the blood, it’s up to you. *SMILE*

She missed and moved to the other arm. My sickness meant I had weekly blood draws along with a major monthly draw. My veins are scared. What did she say?

Nurse: I don’t think you drank enough water, that’s the problem. I mean, you have small veins.

I’M DONE WITH YOU!

Now both my arms hurt and the TDAP – I couldn't use that arm for about 4 days. And I was so sick the day after. I think I passed out at 7pm in a pool of my own drool and tears. Thankfully, someone else had this at work and told me it was horrible. It was! I felt like I needed to call into work to say I had Autism.

*rim shot*

Kidding, autism is not funny. Then again, I think people on all levels of the spectrum are just as funny and not funny as people not on the spectrum. We're all people. We all got something.

Results
I called for my results and FINALLY got them. My doctor’s office has this web portal where they will post your results so you can access everything electronically. Since my results weren't in, the nurse got me set up but my user name didn't exist in the system (ever) and my password never worked.

I called back a few days later for my results. I did not have any type of hepatitis. I asked to talk to the doctor.

Nurse: Why? You’re tests are negative.
Me: Because I need to talk to the doctor.
Nurse: He is just going to tell you your results are negative – I will put a note in for him to call you, though. 

OMG, thank you so much gatekeeper of medicalness! The next week, I called back because, of course, I didn't get a call.

Me: Hi, I was in last week to see the doctor and I am waiting on a call back.
Nurse: Is this about labs?
Me: I’m waiting for a call back from the doctor.
Nurse: For your test results?
Me:  For a talk with the doctor about my results, yes.
Nurse: Your tests for hepatitis were negative.
Me: I know. That’s why I need to talk to the doctor.
Nurse: I don’t understand. You’re negative.
Me: Do you know why I was being tested for hepatitis?
Nurse: Well, no.
Me: Do you know the implications of a negative test result are based on why I came into see the doctor.
Nurse: No.
Me: Then thank you for telling me my results, which I am aware of. I still would like to talk to the doctor. The negative test might rule out a situation but it doesn't confirm what is actually wrong.
Nurse: Well, he’s busy. I can send him a message.
Me: Thanks.

The doctor did call me back relatively quickly - the same day, in fact - and told me my test was negative. I got to the business. I Googled this, sir, I know what the implications are. There needs to be a follow-up or something, right?

Doctor: Oh, yes, Of course.

Well, good thing I was so proactive in reaching out to you! Otherwise, I wouldn't have ever done anything else about this!

In May, I will have another ultrasound to check out my liver. If it is still enlarged, I will have to go see a GI doctor. If it isn't, then it might have been a one off situation or little viral thing that resolved itself. Thankfully, the doctor sent the script while on the phone with me.

Maybe. I don’t really know. I am hesitant to call the place because if he didn't do it, I will have to call the nurses again.

IN THE MEANTIME – I don’t have hepatitis or obesity. While my heart does have damage, it's considered mythical because. . well, you get the point.

I have to hang out and wait until May hoping for the best.

Never Know Until You Ask

There is no harm in polity asking for something, people. I am surprised how often people don't just ask for something to make their lives easier - especially when it won't cost the other person much.

Ask for discounts at stores. Ask for extra condiments if you use them. Ask for a little help. You'd be surprised.

And that's how I almost got $20 for adding a couple people to a meeting appointment. 

Things I Eat: Maddy's Porridge

I am NOT in the breakfast camp. I grew up shoving in prepackages cereals and being warned that breakfast is the most uber thing you can do for yourself.

A long time ago, undecided this was a huge crock. I eat when I am hungry and eating when I am not hungry because a cartoon breakfast critter tells me - or people - is silly.

However, I do eat breakfast items. Not the over-processed fast food types - before I had to stop eating eggs, I loved me an omelet!

I mean, seriously, have you ever just thought about cereal and milk? I mean, WTF is in cereal?

These days, if I am hankering for some breakfast, I make myself a porridge of buckwheat and oatmeal.

What You Need

• Oatmeal and buckwheat: Let's say half a cup of each for a single serving. I know quick oats are grains that have been processed, but, it's cool, man.
• Maple Syrup: Gotta have some sweet!
• Nutmeg: Not just for the holidays! Nutmeg is a warm flavor, like a spice hug. Use it!
• Pumpkin pie spice: Why not?

You can doctor this up with anything from garlic (savory) to cardamon and cinnamon (sweet). Buckwheat groats will take on anything and the oatmeal just serves as a binder.

What You Do
Put everything in a bowl. Add water to just cover the mixture and nuke for about 1 minute in the microwave.

The more liquid you add, the more watery it will be. I like a thick mixture.

Add any nuts or fruit and enjoy!

Dusty the Foster Cat

Meet my new foster cat-seed (aka kitten), Dusty!

That’s right, I got myself a new foster gig. Look at this little dust-mop! Someone threw this little guy out. It took a little bit to warm up to me - he's a little scardy-cat, for sure. He did find out a warm lap and rubs is a pretty awesome thing, though.

Everyone is thrilled! Including Lucky!

I’m still working on writing up the data from my LAST foster gig which meant I had to cool it for a while because I think the hubs almost divorced me.

What could possibly go wrong with four shelter kittens over the holidays?

Puzzles, Art and Cray-Cray

I was helping my husband put together a 1000 piece puzzle for his niece. She got the puzzle as a Christmas gift with the extra note that he would put it together for her and then it would be framed and put in in room.

Background
I haven't worked on a puzzle since I was sick. My Mom and I use to work on puzzles - not at the same time. I would have my walkman in the basement and go down and work on it while listening to music. Then when I was done, she would go down and work on it.

The one was "Ice Cream and Hopscotch" by Charles Wysock, a 1000 piece puzzle. If you ever want to get to know art - do a puzzle! Wysock is known for yesteryear type prints - for me, a refined American folk art style. This puzzle was a lot of fun - it has a lot of areas to really work on. I think we put this together and broke it up a bunch of times.

The other was the Springbok E.E. Throcknottom Memorial Gumball Machine Jigsaw Puzzle. That one was tricky. The Internet tells me it had 500 pieces, but, I have a feeling it was far more. However, since I could only find it on Ebay, who knows.

This one was HARD. Most of the puzzle was black followed by all those gumballs. The classic trick of sorting pieces and then building off know landmarks in the puzzle didn't help too much. All the colors and shapes are the same. We did this one maybe once or twice.

The Now
Of course it's a Thomas Kinkade print of a Cinderella castle - it's called A New Day at the Cinderella Castle.

Kinkade was an American painter of popular realistic, bucolic, and idyllic subjects. While I can't deny his unoffensive brand of painting goes well everywhere, I actually do not own anything by Kinkade. His stuff reminds me of hospitals. Due to the success of his marketing (via The Thomas Kinkade Company), it has been estimated that 1 in every 20 American homes owns a copy of one of his paintings.

He characterized himself as "Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light," a phrase he protected through trademark but one originally attributed to the English master Joseph Mallord William Turner - who was a Romanticist landscape painter, water-colorist, and print-maker. He as considered a controversial figure in his day, but is now regarded as the artist who elevated landscape painting to an eminence rivaling history painting.

Anyhow, it's 1000 pieces and actually sort of hard.

I got most of the castle done - then I noticed this on the box.

Seriously? "My prayer is that A New Day at the Cinderella Castle will make dreams come true for all who see this enchanted painting" - Thomas Kinkade.

Little high-and-mighty, aren't you Kinkade? Your prayer to God is for everyone to have their dreams magically come true after viewing your artwork that you then smashed into 1000 pieces and make us mere mortals put together?

Artists are crazy, man. Cray-cray in the bray-bray.

Image Credit
Ice Cream and Hopscotch from PuzzleWarehouse.com
Gumball picture from EBay
Kincade from ArtoftheSouth.com

Thing I Eat: Blackberry Balls

Balls, balls, balls, balls – BALLLS!

Love ‘em.

My lover likes to buy me blackberries – and I do love blackberries. They are expensive though and I have been having a little more trouble eating. . .like. . .for the past few months. . .so I have not been eating them. I had two packs in the fridge.

I also sort of had a craving for some type of sweet berry cereal. I have not eaten cereal since like 2008 and I think only my Grandmother only got us Trix a couple times when I was a kid, so, I don’t know where this desire came from.

God?

To the blender! After all, I have the secret combo for anything delicious – dates and nuts. Remember the truffles that sort of tasted like Almond Joys - check out my Almond Coconut Truffles post.

What You Need

• Almonds: Mine are lightly salted. Cuts down on me needing to add salt to bring out the sweetness. Lazyness WIN. I used a little shy of a half of a cup.
• Dates: I actually used exactly 11. I got the ones that were already pitted. 
• Unsweetned coconut flakes: I have a bag of these laying around. Don’t hurt to add. Is this optional? Sure.
• Blackberries: You know, the point of this thing. I used 6-7 blackberries. You can add more or less depending on your blackberries. They will add moisture and that will mess with the consistency. Just add more nuts if it becomes to watery. 
• Coconut oil: When chilled, coconut oil hardens and keeps everything together. It’s also fantastic. 
• Buckwheat Groats: My life gets about 10x better with the addition of buckwheat groats. 

What You Do
Put everything in a blender. . . I used my brand-new giant blender. I think it’s the Cuisinart Elite Collection™ 12-Cup Food Processor but I got it for Christmas so, who knows.

I did actually struggle to get it to turn on for like 5 minutes because. . .that’s how I roll. Then I hit the. . mm. . .button.

Look at this glorious mess! You don’t want to OVER blend, you want some chunks of almonds and buckwheat in there. If you wanted to add a little sweetener, you could. Blackberries are not always super sweet – it would help to know this before you blend them up. Make a note of that.

Roll ‘em up into balls. Why balls? I don’t know. Balls are totally in right now. You could also roll them into balls and then use a glass bottom or something flat to make them into cookies. Or roll ‘em out and make bars. This all seems kind of labor intensive. I made balls.

See that purple color – not artificial! That’s the blackberries.

Wait – let me take the plate to the natural light of my living room! Can you tell I made two batches? I bet you can.

Pop ‘em in the fridge so that the coconut oil can do its thing! You don’t have to keep them in there too long. Coconut oil is really sensitive to temperature – it will harden up in about 2 minute. Make yourself some coffee or. . .

Decide to make a frosting and then sprinkle some orange peel spice over the top to make it all nice looking and taste.

Yes, this is how my brain works.

So, I got out:

• Maple syrup.
• Coconut oil.
• Valencia orange peel spice.

Yeah, totally going to rock this, I told myself. 

I did not. 

Either way, the stuff was absorbed into the balls rather than making much of a glaze. I did roll two of the balls in the mixture and then added a dash of the orange peel spice – which is fantastic. 

So, the flavors were all there, but, not really any sort of white lines of frosting over the balls. Either way, delicious! I think I will just add the maple syrup and orange peel spice when I blend everything together.

Anyhow, I took this plate of joy and sat down for a Sims4 session with my Best Friend mug full of coffee. A good time was had by all.

'Cept the Danjer family - their kid, Dalton, he set fire to his chemistry set and the house caught on fire and at that moment his Mom want into labor. Phew! Have another ball!

Don’t WebMD That

So, Saturday about a week ago, I was hanging out on my couch – as is how I like to partay – and I felt very sick and suddenly I had pain in my stomach. It was really bad acid or something. Urg. I wanted to puke because I felt sick. I didn’t.

Points!

I figured I had the stomach flu. Or reflux. Or Ebola. The weekend was brutal, even with acid reducers and stuff. The man-husband was worried.

Sick Day
I took Monday off because I wanted to die. Nothing worked – eating, not eating. Resting, not resting. I have been under some stress, it's been a tough couple weeks - er. . maybe over a month for me. Having a day to rest and deal with this stomach thing was just as well.

Ok, I did eat a steak at my parents and went down excellent and I felt better. Rice, summer rolls – urg!

I did spend FAR TOO MUCH time on ModCloth.

Shoot.

Now I have the app. This is not good, fellow people. This is not good. I mean, I did need to get a 1920-1930 style dress, but, it’s hard to find historically accurate flapper type dresses because the hems were tea-length and all the dresses are suddenly min-skirts. Not cool, people. Not cool.

That was Monday.

The Clinic
On Tuesday, after work, I pull into my local pop-up clinic. I call them urgent care centers. I think “Urgent Care” is a thing. So is “Minute Clinic.” Whatever, my friend mentioned he went there and thought it was decent. I probably just had random bad reflux so I popped in.

They took my insurance pretty quick. And my pants.

After a couple hours – they decided to draw blood and order an ultrasound. I am pretty sure I have an ulcer. The doctor calls it Peptic Ulcer Disease to sound cool, but, a good ol’ fashion ulcer would be a better description.

I debated NOT getting the ultrasound, but, how often do you get a script for testing these days? Not too often. Doctor’s offices are based on headcount, not screening. So, I went for it.

The Test
I got a call around 8am the next day with a testing time at some place at 9:45am. Because I guess sometimes I look like I don’t have a job. . .?

I did get the wrong address. I verified my note on my desk and saw that was one address, I typed in the wrong one into my calendar for my GPS and the actual address was totally different. I was about 10 minutes late – and where did I get to park? On the ice puddle.

Ice. Puddle.

Good thing they weren't busy and they took me right away. Ultrasounds are painful, man. For me. PAINFUL. She did a good job, I think she took over 100 pictures of my inners from the part at the base of my sternum to my liver, pancreas, kidneys – the whole torso.

And, can I add, the last time I had a ultrasound of my heart, I did not have one simple luxiory – warmed gel. The gel was pre-warmed. What a glorious day! They also pumped up the heat so my exposed belly parts did not get cold. Nice.

Later
Sitting at my desk, I get a call about my results.

• Blood test: Normal.
• Urine: Normal.
• Ultrasound: . . . .

Dot-dot-dot?

Dude, I currently have a tampon all up in there. I'm not pregnant.

The guy on the phone tells me my liver is enlarged. I should probably contact my primary care physician to get that looked at. But, it has nothing to do with my stomach issues. I mention I’m doing better. I get waves here and there now, but, I sleep pretty good. Probably just need to take another pill and not just one in the evening.

Whatever. Awesome.

Then I took to the Internetz, my favorite place, to check out what’s up with an enlarged liver. What causes an enlarged liver:

• Cirrhosis.
• Hepatitis.
• Cysts.
• Cancer.
• Heart failure.
• Obesity. 

Well. This is a pretty awesome list. There is nothing “normal” that seems to cause it. It just gets worse. Where’s the “sometimes it just happens” part.

Cheese-n-crackers!

So, I made an appointment on Monday to check in with my new primary care physician to hopefully get an MRI of the liver. I, conveniently, have Friday off so I will collect what medical records I might need for this – like the ultrasound stuff.

Maybe it will all be gone away, who knows? Does that happen? I hope so. This is far too much excitement for me.

Photo Credits:
Ultrasound pulled from kf.rainydaycommunications.net

Ring-a-Thing

Got some questions about my wedding ring. Maybe because it's not a super normal ring (for some reason?)

For the young 'uns today, wedding rings and engagement rings are about bling. While I love the antique setting and Edwardian style. . .I don't think it works for my lifestyle. When you type in something like "wedding band sets" into Google, this tends to be what you get.

A lot of bling. All my married friends have blinged out bands - the engine of the wedding industry demands extra sparkle and detail. Large diamonds, halo settings, etc. . .I even tried a lot of these bands on.

I use my hands a lot. I know where they go. While I love the styles, when I started thinking about myself, I went with something that spoke to me.

I ended up getting a pipe-cut, aka flat cut ring. It's totally NOT in style. I could have gone for a "comfort band" but, to be honest, I dislike circles and curves. Personal thing.

I think the oddness of it all is people who learned I was married and who wanted to see my ring. And, yes, I see the moment of "oh that's it?" in their eyes before they recover by saying something like, "pretty!"

It's not the average. But it's totally mine.

But I love it.

Things I (don't) Eat: Nugs

My man-friend loves chicken nuggets. But he never knew how they were made - I think he assumed you could only get them in the frozen food aisle or at a fast food place. I think this is the common conception of chicken nuggets.

Unhealthy, weird tasting, children's food option, fast food snack.

Then he met me. And I make a MEAN nug. I can't eat them anymore but when I do make them for other people, they lose their mo-fo minds.

And I agree. They are tasty. So tasty I might steal a few.

This recipe has been handed down to me by family.

What You Need

• 2lbs Chicken breast: I suggest not using a large chains chicken breasts. They tend to be bathed in salt and other things because they are bought by weight from manufactures. I got mine from Whole Foods or you could try Trader Joe's. Once you have non-salt injected chicken, you will wonder why you ever ate it.
• Cornflake Crumbs: You can buy a box of cornflakes and smash them, but, you can also just by Kellogg's Corn Flake Crumbs.
• Bisquick: Normal stuff - don't get fancy with it, the normal Bisquick Original is best.
• Peanut Oil: Secret weapon. For those with a peanut allergy, if you know you are allergic to the protein in peanuts, a highly refined peanut oil doesn't have it, making it peanut allergy safe. Few of us know what compound in a food we are allergic too, so, be careful when testing. You can use canola oil, but the peanut oil is really the best for flavor.
• 3 Eggs: Yum. Eggs!
• Milk: Go for whole milk. Or if you drink milk, some type of milk with fat in it.
• Poultry seasoning: It's good stuff - I use McCormick's

What You Do

The day before you are going to make the nugs, you will get out your chicken and chop it into bite-sized pieces. I suggest keeping them the same size and smaller than the nugs you might get at the store. It helps for even cooking. Get out your eggs, milk and poultry seasoning - and a bowl, a big bowl. 

Once you have chopped up your chicken, put it into the bowl and cover it with milk. Add the eggs and dump in a good amount of the poultry seasoning. Like so much with me - I don't know too much about amounts, it's more how it looks. 

The marinade should be a little yellowish - I used three eggs and whatever amount is left over in my milk container. You can see the seasoning floating around. Good! Now put that in the fridge and keep it there for a minimum of four hours - or overnight. 

Now that's it's the next day, get out your dry stuff - the cornflake crumbs and Bisquick and, well, the peanut oil and a pan and stuff. In another bowl, mix half and half the cornflake crumbs and Bisquick. This will be your breading.  

You can drain off some of the marinade, but it will be the stuff that helps the breading stick. Don't be rinsing it off or something. Bread however you would like. Shake-n-Bake style in a bag, with your hands in the bowl. I will assure you, you will get messy.

Now, you want to set up your frying station. Notice the zen like set up - raw nugs on the right, my pan with a layer of peanut oil and a plate with two layers of paper towels for then the nugs are done cooking. 

I tend to just throw the nugs in with my hands, cook for about 2 minutes, then flip with a fork and then cook for about 2 minutes and then use a slotted spatula type thing to move the nugs from the pan to the towel.

Timing - well - you want them to be cooked and golden brown. Here is how my first batch looked after I turned them. 

Very, very key! When you are done a batch, you need to remove your pan from the fire and dump any excess oil (shouldn't really b e a lot) and wipe it down with a damp paper towel. If not, you will start to burn the oil and chicken breading bits and your kitchen will be full of smoke. Also, if you have a smoke dectector above your stove, it will go off. So, clean your pan between fry sessions. 

Here is my first yummy batch! Sprinkle with a little salt and let them rest. I can fit about two pan fulls of nugs on one plate - after that, I transfer them to the thing I will serve them in and re-layer my plate with paper towels to suck up any extra oil. 

Continue.. .until all your nugs are cooked. It's really cool if you have help - plenty of room for help - but I normally make these as a treat for someone, so, I don't get help. I do get first crack at warm nugs, though. 

Once you eat these nugs, you will never, ever, EVER go back to those frozen, processed things from the food store or a fast food place.

You can serve them with Chinese Duck Sauce (my family's favorite) or BBQ or honey mustard. My lover eats them plain - and they are good plain. Maybe with some rice? I have noticed, no one eats side dishes when these are around. They make a good dinner and awesome appetizer. 

You got kids? Feed them this. You're an adult, I don't care how tired you are, you created life - fuel it correctly!

Texts With Melissa: Coping in Corporate America

Another awesome installment of Texts With Melissa - guest star, Mr. Melissa (her husband).

We all have to deal with situations that are stressful or utterly relentless and we all have ways of coping, right. Melissa finds joy in her frequent train trips. . .I let the insanity slowly eat me from the way out. . .

Let's break it down, folks!

Oh the Humanity

I might be a little in love with Cards Against Humanity. I don't have many people to play with. I think most of the games I like are rated lowly by others - if you remember, I often try to play with my cat, Lucky. . .

Thankfully, I work with people who totally are as horrible as me. Now we can make horrible choices - together.

I think it's a really fun 

game, but not for everyone. This game has been out for a while and is a way I can gain friends in my husband's family since they are all very game oriented. In my family, we are drinking-n-appetizer oriented.

What I will mention that really got me grinning is all the little details on the box and in the instructions that show some real creativity and spunk. I like these things. I like Easter eggs in life and I love it when people don't take themselves too seriously.

Now, back to tough decisions. . .