Feb 6, 2017

Things I Eat: Nut Cheese

Nut cheese. The vegan rage. Well, I know you can make nut cheese but I have been cheese-less for so long, I don't even know. 

Sure, sometimes I miss a nice bree and glass of wine, but, I can't have either so. Whatever. Sometimes, when accepting a lifestyle, you have to accept not accepting certain things. Right? That sounds about right. 

Anyhow, I was bouncing around Whole Foods hoping not to run into anyone, and behold, there was this nut cheese. Most "vegan cheese" is soy/tofu so I can't have it. You know, when God hates you, it's never half-assed. 

Anyhow, I picked up this cheese from TreeLine. It's really expensive, like $8 for this Classic Aged Nut Cheese.

And, yes, I bought and took pictures of this a long time ago, ignore the expiration date.

I think it is actually a pretty good cheese if you wanted to serve it to a vegan or use it in a recipe. It tastes like I remember cheese tasting. I think if you put this on a cheese board with people who could and wanted to consume dairy, this would be a hit. It was tangy and good.

I mean. . .you know. If you wanted to.

I did also go back and get their soft cheese which I use like a dip for tater chips. It was also tangy and good.

Nothing against this cheese, I just don't think I miss cheese so much that I will be buying a lot of this. I just don't miss cheese at the "$8 worth" level. If I did one day have a dinner party, I'm pretty sure I. . .uhh. . .HAHAHAHAHA. . .yeah. 

Nut cheese. It's good if you really need to have cheese made with nuts. 

Jan 30, 2017

Things I Eat: Roast Five Spice Duck

I did follow the roasting recipe from The Hungry Mouse because I never actually roasted a duck before. I have roasted other things: chicken, beef, my husband, select friends, vegetables, etc.

You can totally check out the Hungry Mouse for the details there, the method is simple:

  1. Score the skin, cut off excess fat, and poke it all over
  2. Salt and truss
  3. Roast at 300 degrees for 1 hour, breast-side up
  4. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast-side down
  5. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast-side up
  6. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast side down
  7. Poke, flip, blast at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, breast-side up
  8. Brush with glaze
  9. Finish at 400 degrees for 5-7 minutes
  10. Rest, carve and serve

So, I scored the skin with my dull knives and inability. I also didn't know how to remove the quills still in the skin. I ended up getting some tweezers and spent a good deal of time finding all those little pricks. And also wondering if I could become a vegan with all my issues. I do love duck and I got this duck from a place where the creatures are treated humanely.

This is the D'Artagnan Rohan Duck, Whole and D'Artagnan seems to have a good philosophy on animal care. So. I did my best for this fest.

Anyhow, I pretty much massacred the bird scoring it. Whatever. And I didn't have bakers twine to truss it right. Whatever. OVEN!

I made my own glaze of 1/4 cup honey, a lot of McCormick Chinese 5 Spice Blend - because McCormick never lets me down.

Fast forward, boom!

I am not a great carver - which is fine because it all fell apart into deliciousness! The skin was crispy, the insides were delicious and the glaze was great!

Nice. Duck. 

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Jan 16, 2017

Ping Me

Are you following this indie cartoon? It's funny. You should follow it and click on the ads.

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Jan 9, 2017

Pantless Wednesday: Sexy

I got this dress years ago at TJ Maxx and I don't know anything about it. It is a stretchy pencil skirt with a red-pleated red sleeveless thing attached to the top.

I wore this for a night out with the ladies. It's super comfortable and I think it's pretty sexy. I actually forgot how much I liked this dress. . .

So, there you go. A dress I don't wear at work.

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Jan 2, 2017

Nailed to the Couch: Revlon Graffiti

While wandering through Wegmans unable to eat food, I decided to pick up a bottle of this Revlon Graffiti. I don’t know if it is still being sold, I couldn’t find it on the Revlon website, but, maybe it’s at Target still? It doesn't seem to be on the Revlon site and most places had other top coat colors but not this one. 

I thought it would look like that on my nails and I was like YES. . and then I found out it was a top coat with confetti in it.

I decided to pair it with my Essie Blanc and. . .YES! A nice splatter effect people thought I had someone else do. 

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Dec 26, 2016

Things I Eat: Chicken Thighs with Fig-Garlic Sauce

That's right. I cook.

If you're new here, which is unlikely, you can find a whole series of post I did about Things I Eat because I can't eat a lot of foods that most people can eat.

I can't go out to eat to much unless I want an iffy-salad, I can't even go to family functions and eat well when people home-cook stuff.

Sure, eating potatoes while everyone else enjoys a wide variety of delicious foods is really great. So great. Just, everything is great.

Everyone: So, you can eat something here right?
Me: Sure*
Everyone: Oh good, you have a salad.
Me: It's yummy**

* No and go f**k yourself
** I am so emotionally and physically unsatisfied by this dumb, dull bed of iceburg lettuce that costs $20 that I want you to go f**k yourself

But, I totally digress. Let's talk about this Chicken Thighs with Fig-Garlic Sauce with mashed acorn squash.


  • Chicken thighs: I got skin-on, bone-in chicken thighs. I like dark meat. It's flavorful. People try to feed me white meat all the time like it's exciting. Yeeeah. . .dry, roasted, dry meat, oh, you put butter on it? Sure, I can eat around that. 
  • Fig preserves: I wanted to get plum, actually. Make a plum sauce, but, no plum. Plum is out of season, anyway. Yeah, foods tend to grow in seasons. Fast food is not a grown food.
  • Onions: Nom. . nomnomnom 
  • Chicken broth: Just a little moisture.
  • Acorn squash: We had one left over from our fall decor. Yes, you can eat your decor. 
  • Garlic: You are going to want to use more garlic powder than garlic cloves for this thing. Garlic powder is less likely to burn where raw garlic will - just trust me.
  • Cloves: Ground cloves, just a touch. Cloves are pretty strong and will overpower anything.
  • Onion powder: You know. . .for stuff. 
  • Ginger: I used powdered because I don't have time for your freshness.
  • Salt: Whatever. 
  • Olive oil or bacon grease

What You Do
You can make these both at the same time, I did start with the acorn squash. You half the squash, remove the seeds and some of the stringy stuff. Then get a glass baking pan, put water in it to cover the bottle and place the acorn squash in face down. Then put that in the over at 350 degrees for about 30-45 minutes. If you forget, whatever. You just want the insides nice and soft. You can flip them and cook them a little longer. I don't think I did that. I was drunk. Anyhow, once it's soft, add a little clove and maybe a touch of Earth Balance Soy Free Fake Butter or oil of your choice. Then mash it up and add some salt or whatever. You keep it mashed in it's skin for a nice boat presentation.

Presentation is ok
Let's chat chicken. 

Yes, I wish I could be vegan. I so wish I could be vegan. Or eat eggs. 

I used our cast-iron skillet that my husband got me for my birthday. I know what he was thinking I just don't know what he was thinking. It's cool, marriage is fun and easy. 

I used four chicken thighs! You can use olive oil for a little fun. You can also use bacon grease. I used both. It didn't matter as much as I thought. 

Anyhow, heat up your pan so it's nice and hot and salt your chicken thighs while it warms. Use a little more salt than you might think you want to use. A lot will render off, which is good.

Drop the thighs skin side down. It should sizzle. Keep your stove at about half power. . .not on high. Just a nice, medium, even heat. Keep it on that side for 7 minutes then gently turn them. They should all brown and delicious. If they are not brown enough, you can keep them on longer. Don't be a slave to the clock, man.

Do the same on the other side. If you think you are getting some stickage, turn down the heat or add a little touch of chicken broth or extra oil. Anyhow, after another 7 minutes, remove them onto a plate somewhere. Throw in your onions and garlic and a little chicken broth. 

I don't suggest using a lot of powder right away, just let the onions get all sweaty and soft and delicious. If you are really smart, you would have chopped the onions rather than just sliced them like I did.

You know what? You can do you. If you want chunky sauce, you use large slices. If you want minced onion, you do that. If you start chunky and want smooth, get a blender. Do you.

Once your onion is all cooked how you like it, add some of your chicken broth and fig preserves. I used this Bonne Maman brand because every other brand I came across had vinegar in it. That's right, your jams, jellys and preserves have yeast in them and I can't have yeast. Bet'ch didn't know that. This is why I can't trust.

Anyhow, this sh** is delicious.

I used about three table spoons and then a lot of powdered ginger and powdered garlic. Here is where I panicked, I was looking at the chicken and I was like "Dude, I don't have enough" and then I put in more fig preserves and then it seemed too sweet. Really, you are going to be cooking this and seasoning to taste. But, it will be diluted over your chicken.

Keep this sauce in your pan so it's all saucey and then, if you are like. . ."I want it smooth" maybe you put it in a food processor. Either way, put your chicken with the sauce back in your pan and finish the cooking of the chicken.

I served it raw and had to come back and recook it. I was drunk.

Anyhow, yeah, you're going to cook it for another 5-and-5 on each side. Check to make sure it is cooked or the internal temp is 165–175°F (74-80°C)

I thought the picture looked a little bland, so, I threw some fresh parsley over it. Parsley is delicious.

I made a little romaine and pepper salad and dinner was served! I was so excited, I didn't even focus the photo.

This was fracking better the next day. I left myself a piece. Yum.

Anyhow, I was worried about the sweetness, but, it was totally fine with the fatty-salty chicken. This was actually super easy and if I ever find plum preserves, I will be trying that.

Most people don't understand how well meat and fruit go together. Most of our American meat is served with vegetables or a more salty-savory blend of seasoning. Try some chicken and fruit or chicken and cinnamon. It's delicious.

Food is awesome.

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Dec 23, 2016

Blog Update

So, here's how this blog stuff is going down.

You're getting one post from me a week. Unless I suddenly develop and exciting life and the inner desire to write about it.

This way, at least things will be consistent, right?

Does anyone even read this? Naaa. . .

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