Things I Eat: Chicken Thighs with Fig-Garlic Sauce

That's right. I cook.

If you're new here, which is unlikely, you can find a whole series of post I did about Things I Eat because I can't eat a lot of foods that most people can eat.

I can't go out to eat to much unless I want an iffy-salad, I can't even go to family functions and eat well when people home-cook stuff.

Sure, eating potatoes while everyone else enjoys a wide variety of delicious foods is really great. So great. Just, everything is great.

Everyone: So, you can eat something here right?
Me: Sure*
Everyone: Oh good, you have a salad.
Me: It's yummy**

* No and go f**k yourself
** I am so emotionally and physically unsatisfied by this dumb, dull bed of iceburg lettuce that costs $20 that I want you to go f**k yourself

But, I totally digress. Let's talk about this Chicken Thighs with Fig-Garlic Sauce with mashed acorn squash.

Ingredients

• Chicken thighs: I got skin-on, bone-in chicken thighs. I like dark meat. It's flavorful. People try to feed me white meat all the time like it's exciting. Yeeeah. . .dry, roasted, dry meat, oh, you put butter on it? Sure, I can eat around that. 
• Fig preserves: I wanted to get plum, actually. Make a plum sauce, but, no plum. Plum is out of season, anyway. Yeah, foods tend to grow in seasons. Fast food is not a grown food.
• Onions: Nom. . nomnomnom 
• Chicken broth: Just a little moisture.
• Acorn squash: We had one left over from our fall decor. Yes, you can eat your decor. 
• Garlic: You are going to want to use more garlic powder than garlic cloves for this thing. Garlic powder is less likely to burn where raw garlic will - just trust me.
• Cloves: Ground cloves, just a touch. Cloves are pretty strong and will overpower anything.
• Onion powder: You know. . .for stuff. 
• Ginger: I used powdered because I don't have time for your freshness.
• Salt: Whatever. 
• Olive oil or bacon grease

What You Do
You can make these both at the same time, I did start with the acorn squash. You half the squash, remove the seeds and some of the stringy stuff. Then get a glass baking pan, put water in it to cover the bottle and place the acorn squash in face down. Then put that in the over at 350 degrees for about 30-45 minutes. If you forget, whatever. You just want the insides nice and soft. You can flip them and cook them a little longer. I don't think I did that. I was drunk. Anyhow, once it's soft, add a little clove and maybe a touch of Earth Balance Soy Free Fake Butter or oil of your choice. Then mash it up and add some salt or whatever. You keep it mashed in it's skin for a nice boat presentation.

Presentation is ok

Let's chat chicken. 

Yes, I wish I could be vegan. I so wish I could be vegan. Or eat eggs. 

I used our cast-iron skillet that my husband got me for my birthday. I know what he was thinking I just don't know what he was thinking. It's cool, marriage is fun and easy. 

I used four chicken thighs! You can use olive oil for a little fun. You can also use bacon grease. I used both. It didn't matter as much as I thought. 

Anyhow, heat up your pan so it's nice and hot and salt your chicken thighs while it warms. Use a little more salt than you might think you want to use. A lot will render off, which is good.

Drop the thighs skin side down. It should sizzle. Keep your stove at about half power. . .not on high. Just a nice, medium, even heat. Keep it on that side for 7 minutes then gently turn them. They should all brown and delicious. If they are not brown enough, you can keep them on longer. Don't be a slave to the clock, man.

OOOOHHH YEEEAH

Do the same on the other side. If you think you are getting some stickage, turn down the heat or add a little touch of chicken broth or extra oil. Anyhow, after another 7 minutes, remove them onto a plate somewhere. Throw in your onions and garlic and a little chicken broth. 

I don't suggest using a lot of powder right away, just let the onions get all sweaty and soft and delicious. If you are really smart, you would have chopped the onions rather than just sliced them like I did.

You know what? You can do you. If you want chunky sauce, you use large slices. If you want minced onion, you do that. If you start chunky and want smooth, get a blender. Do you.

Delicious

Once your onion is all cooked how you like it, add some of your chicken broth and fig preserves. I used this Bonne Maman brand because every other brand I came across had vinegar in it. That's right, your jams, jellys and preserves have yeast in them and I can't have yeast. Bet'ch didn't know that. This is why I can't trust.

Anyhow, this sh** is delicious.

I used about three table spoons and then a lot of powdered ginger and powdered garlic. Here is where I panicked, I was looking at the chicken and I was like "Dude, I don't have enough" and then I put in more fig preserves and then it seemed too sweet. Really, you are going to be cooking this and seasoning to taste. But, it will be diluted over your chicken.

Keep this sauce in your pan so it's all saucey and then, if you are like. . ."I want it smooth" maybe you put it in a food processor. Either way, put your chicken with the sauce back in your pan and finish the cooking of the chicken.

I served it raw and had to come back and recook it. I was drunk.

Anyhow, yeah, you're going to cook it for another 5-and-5 on each side. Check to make sure it is cooked or the internal temp is 165–175°F (74-80°C)

I thought the picture looked a little bland, so, I threw some fresh parsley over it. Parsley is delicious.

I made a little romaine and pepper salad and dinner was served! I was so excited, I didn't even focus the photo.

Thoughts
This was fracking better the next day. I left myself a piece. Yum.

Anyhow, I was worried about the sweetness, but, it was totally fine with the fatty-salty chicken. This was actually super easy and if I ever find plum preserves, I will be trying that.

Most people don't understand how well meat and fruit go together. Most of our American meat is served with vegetables or a more salty-savory blend of seasoning. Try some chicken and fruit or chicken and cinnamon. It's delicious.

Food is awesome.