Oct 26, 2015
You know why I really hate it when adults smash spiders and kill snakes and freak out around lizards and frogs around children?
Because it teaches children that cute, fuzzy animals are worthwhile and when something is scaly or has more than four legs it is to be feared and when you fear something you should always kill it. Spiders bite you and they are ugly, we say. We don't rejoice at a friendly house-spider who catches other insects that can carry diseases.
We teach them that a daddy long legs in the garage should be met with screams and then immediate fatal action. I remember even having people tell me how fun it is to pull off each of its legs.
We don't teach them to respect bees and avoid them because we share the world with many different types of creatures and people - we show (and tell) children bees can sting and should be destroyed. We don't teach our children sometimes you get stung and it hurts but you won't die. We don't tell them that there are prescriptions of danger, truth and life outside their own world.
We don't teach children the number one sign of a healthy garden is a couple of snakes - we teach them to behead all snakes and fear them. All snakes! Because a couple are poisonous in the world. Which ones? Doesn't matter, all snakes need to die. We don't tell our children snakes like to avoid people and if you see one, it's best to leave it alone or walk away. We certainly don't teach them how to identify poisonous snakes - being armed with education is work, killing everything you fear is easy.
No wonder children run screaming from a bumblebee at a flower. No wonder they can't sleep with a fly at the window. No wonder, as adults, they run over turtles trying to cross the road with their cars.
Think about it. We teach children when something is different then the accepted fuzzy, pretty norm - you should destroy it.
We don't teach children that nature has a place for everything. Every animal, every human. We teach them only cute animals should be allowed to live and should be respected.
We teach them to fear things that are different. We don't take the opportunity to say, "Wow, you saw a lizard? Let's look up lizards and see what kind it was. I wonder if the lizard was scared of you!"
We don't say, "Wow, that spider sure is funny looking. I wonder why it has such long legs, don't you? Let's find out."
We don't say, "That bee did sting you. But, you'll be ok. I think that bee just got so scared when it saw you! Listen, when you see a lot of bees in a hole in the ground or in a hive, you stay away, that's the bee's home and you are big and scary. The bees think you are going to step on them or hurt their babies. Did you know they make honey, too?"
Kids who learn to face fear and uncertainly with education, to face things that are different with curiosity, and who learn they have a tremendous ability to hurt others - I can't say for sure, but, I think that those sound like some pretty awesome kids.
Then when someone comes into their world who is different - maybe it's not that hard for these kids to shrug and accept. And then they grow up. And then there might just be less hate and more understanding in the world. Maybe.
Being a parent is hard.
Look, kid, you don't have to fall in love with spiders, you just have to give them their space.
Because it teaches children that cute, fuzzy animals are worthwhile and when something is scaly or has more than four legs it is to be feared and when you fear something you should always kill it. Spiders bite you and they are ugly, we say. We don't rejoice at a friendly house-spider who catches other insects that can carry diseases.
We teach them that a daddy long legs in the garage should be met with screams and then immediate fatal action. I remember even having people tell me how fun it is to pull off each of its legs.
We don't teach them to respect bees and avoid them because we share the world with many different types of creatures and people - we show (and tell) children bees can sting and should be destroyed. We don't teach our children sometimes you get stung and it hurts but you won't die. We don't tell them that there are prescriptions of danger, truth and life outside their own world.
We don't teach children the number one sign of a healthy garden is a couple of snakes - we teach them to behead all snakes and fear them. All snakes! Because a couple are poisonous in the world. Which ones? Doesn't matter, all snakes need to die. We don't tell our children snakes like to avoid people and if you see one, it's best to leave it alone or walk away. We certainly don't teach them how to identify poisonous snakes - being armed with education is work, killing everything you fear is easy.
No wonder children run screaming from a bumblebee at a flower. No wonder they can't sleep with a fly at the window. No wonder, as adults, they run over turtles trying to cross the road with their cars.
Think about it. We teach children when something is different then the accepted fuzzy, pretty norm - you should destroy it.
We don't teach children that nature has a place for everything. Every animal, every human. We teach them only cute animals should be allowed to live and should be respected.
We teach them to fear things that are different. We don't take the opportunity to say, "Wow, you saw a lizard? Let's look up lizards and see what kind it was. I wonder if the lizard was scared of you!"
We don't say, "Wow, that spider sure is funny looking. I wonder why it has such long legs, don't you? Let's find out."
We don't say, "That bee did sting you. But, you'll be ok. I think that bee just got so scared when it saw you! Listen, when you see a lot of bees in a hole in the ground or in a hive, you stay away, that's the bee's home and you are big and scary. The bees think you are going to step on them or hurt their babies. Did you know they make honey, too?"
Kids who learn to face fear and uncertainly with education, to face things that are different with curiosity, and who learn they have a tremendous ability to hurt others - I can't say for sure, but, I think that those sound like some pretty awesome kids.
Then when someone comes into their world who is different - maybe it's not that hard for these kids to shrug and accept. And then they grow up. And then there might just be less hate and more understanding in the world. Maybe.
Being a parent is hard.
Look, kid, you don't have to fall in love with spiders, you just have to give them their space.
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