Jan 28, 2015
Really, all I want to do in life is avoid people and eat food. Is that too much to ask? I can't explain it any easier - and people are still baffled.
As part of being a member of polite society, I attended my company's holiday party. I think these types of events are "voluntary" but required. They suck for me because I have no control over the food, which was a sit down dinner, and it's really just spending extra hours with people I am already forced to spend 40+ hours a week with.
People are fine. I don't dislike my coworkers, I just don't even like hanging out with my friends. I mean, after 40+ hours a week - what's left to really do?
AVOID PEOPLE AND EAT FOOD!
That was a trick question, if you didn't know.
If you have to do something, though. Might as well make it fun! It was a nice, formal event and a lot of work went into it. It was a formal sit-down dinner for 500 some people - it included a date for each person. I brought my husband. 'Cause we're just the cutest.
While other people could just put on clothes and show up - I had to do some more planning!
Mission 1: Eat
I'm a huge fan of pre-eating. That's eating so you don't have to eat when people are eating what you can't eat. Being that this was a "formal" dinner, I didn't want to stick to my work lunchtime ritual of not eating and/or not eating with anyone.
Formal dinner with only five total utensils, by the way.
One of my main problems with integrating into society is the huge value placed on eating together. So much value is placed on food that nothing else can matter. We have to eat someone's food to prove the host's soul has worth and that we also carry the light of God. To refuse community public eating in anyway can result in some pretty stiff physiologically and social punishments. It's incessant and, frankly, dangerous.
The way my company handled the eating was to send out a survey (though Survey Monkey) where we each picked what we wanted from a wedding-esk menu of chicken, fish and beer, and could add comments about - whatever. This works well enough for my husband's choice, not for me.
The last time I was in this situation I picked "chicken" and listed my allergies. I was served a plate of chicken in heavy cream sauce and. . .well. . no one really cared that I had listed the 500 things I can't eat.
This time, I merely noted - "I will bring my own food."
The day of the event - which was held after hours - I got an email from one of the admins asking me "what was your food choice?!" I told her what my handsome husband was having and I would bring my own food.
At the event, I was pulled aside - "Did you really bring your own food?"
Do I look like a liar? This ain't my first rodeo, girlfriend.
Missing 2: Picking My Dinner
When bring your own food, it's important to think about what resources you have. Sometimes you have access to a lot of helpful tools. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes, you don't know. It's best never to assume you have access to anything unless expressly told. It also is of the highest concern to never interfere with the timeline or resources being used for everyone else.
For example:
I normally opt for a raw salad. Nothing fancy, nothing smelly. Simple, raw - nothing needs to be cooked and nothing needs to be refrigerated.
A lot of people think the leaves from nature need to be in always be kept cold and if they sit at room temperature, they will rot and give you botulism, ebola or zombieism. You can come to terms with that on your own. I don't hyper-refrigerate my stuff.
I went with spinach with sweet potato ribbons, parsnip ribbons, dried julienne tomatoes and a swirl of white truffle oil and olive oil. This is based off my Salad Remix concept. I didn't do the noodles - that might be the largest difference. Noodles tend to get sticky - they are much better warmed on a salad.
It's delicious and also easily fits easily in a Ziploc Twist 'n Loc 32oz container - but I made a huge mess making it. Just saying I am a mess. How do you keep all your food in a bowl? It's really hard, man!
Mission 3: Transportation
The picking of the dinner and transportation are sort of. .mm. .married. I do have a variety of food transportation units.
I have this Kotobuki Two Tiered Bento Box - which is pretty cool.
![]()
And something that is very similar to this Yumbox - which I do not use and don't really like because of the small compartments. Don't try to fit me into a box!
![]()
And this - which I used a lot at my old job - Two Tier Stack Bento Box
![]()
I would totally recommend these for your food transportation needs. Or anything made by Zojirushi. Also, I'm an adult. Not a kid.
Anyhow, I used the Ziploc container because it had the room for the most food. I haven't really gotten anything bigger as far as a bento box, so - there you go!
How did I transport this? In my fab-bag. This Zenness Canvas Hiking Traveling Satchel Messenger Bag I got for my birthday.
![]()
Which looked great with my dress! Gimme a kiss!
Mission 4: Plate and Eat
The place we had this function was really nice. A little too nice.
At least two people asked about what I could eat and I told them I brought my own food and then the manager of the place came over to talk to me - and I was like "STOP THE MADNESS I BOUGHT MY OWN FOOD BACK OFF!"
Kidding, I appreciated the concern. I didn't want to inconvenience these hard working people who had 1000 people to take care of. I was happy as a clam!
I had one request - just a plate. It was brought over in a flash! A little shake-shake-shake-and-dump and my food was on my plate as everyone was being served. Evidence back in my bag!
P.R.E.S.T.O, suckas.
Other Thoughts - Food Transportation Specialist
This is not my first event doing this. This type of event was super easy though.
I find wedding are the most difficult because they tend to be long days. This means long days - normally of traveling from one location to another (ceremony, long pause, cocktail, reception, etc).
That bag I have - while not swanky - sure can hold a lot of nuts and dried fruits for snacks and then whole containers of food. My go to is also unsalted peanuts and raisins which I fest on most of the day. I do not do pre-packaged mixes - I stick to my own mix. You want to make sure your finger food is not salty or oily during all-day wedding deals because you don't want to get that on your clothes. You want to avoid overpowering smells like garlic or seasonings which are common on pre-packged mixes. These can marinate and then be a little off-putting to people.
You also want to make sure it won't make you super-thirsty. You might not have access to water. I don't carry water. It's a thing.
I always pack a lot of the raisin-nut combos because it's a hit with the kids and adults.
I used the same salad concept for my now-but-in-the-past-future-brother&sister-in-law's wedding. One of the huge perks - while everyone was waiting to be served while the DJ was being an ass, I had my food.
Kidding, that's rude. I don't eat until everyone is served.
As part of being a member of polite society, I attended my company's holiday party. I think these types of events are "voluntary" but required. They suck for me because I have no control over the food, which was a sit down dinner, and it's really just spending extra hours with people I am already forced to spend 40+ hours a week with.
People are fine. I don't dislike my coworkers, I just don't even like hanging out with my friends. I mean, after 40+ hours a week - what's left to really do?
AVOID PEOPLE AND EAT FOOD!
That was a trick question, if you didn't know.
If you have to do something, though. Might as well make it fun! It was a nice, formal event and a lot of work went into it. It was a formal sit-down dinner for 500 some people - it included a date for each person. I brought my husband. 'Cause we're just the cutest.
While other people could just put on clothes and show up - I had to do some more planning!
Mission 1: Eat
I'm a huge fan of pre-eating. That's eating so you don't have to eat when people are eating what you can't eat. Being that this was a "formal" dinner, I didn't want to stick to my work lunchtime ritual of not eating and/or not eating with anyone.
Formal dinner with only five total utensils, by the way.
One of my main problems with integrating into society is the huge value placed on eating together. So much value is placed on food that nothing else can matter. We have to eat someone's food to prove the host's soul has worth and that we also carry the light of God. To refuse community public eating in anyway can result in some pretty stiff physiologically and social punishments. It's incessant and, frankly, dangerous.
The way my company handled the eating was to send out a survey (though Survey Monkey) where we each picked what we wanted from a wedding-esk menu of chicken, fish and beer, and could add comments about - whatever. This works well enough for my husband's choice, not for me.
The last time I was in this situation I picked "chicken" and listed my allergies. I was served a plate of chicken in heavy cream sauce and. . .well. . no one really cared that I had listed the 500 things I can't eat.
This time, I merely noted - "I will bring my own food."
The day of the event - which was held after hours - I got an email from one of the admins asking me "what was your food choice?!" I told her what my handsome husband was having and I would bring my own food.
At the event, I was pulled aside - "Did you really bring your own food?"
Do I look like a liar? This ain't my first rodeo, girlfriend.
Missing 2: Picking My Dinner
When bring your own food, it's important to think about what resources you have. Sometimes you have access to a lot of helpful tools. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes, you don't know. It's best never to assume you have access to anything unless expressly told. It also is of the highest concern to never interfere with the timeline or resources being used for everyone else.
For example:
- I will have no access to refrigeration: If it was a longer day, I would have requested this. It is also winter and cold outside. I could have left anything in my car. See, resources.
- I will have no access to a cook top: Sure, I could have asked, but, let's not get all cross-contaminated or make things complicated for a professional kitchen trying to feed 1000 some people. It is not my place to barge into a kitchen and demand some type of service.
- I will have to transport my own items: At a nice event like this, I want to be discrete. Nothing offends and/or makes people more uncomfortable than bringing your own food. Remember, community eating demands you eat the food there, not bring your own. Bringing food to an event or household can be the equivalent of a huge insult to the host and/or other guests. So, transportation is important - and covered in my next point.
I normally opt for a raw salad. Nothing fancy, nothing smelly. Simple, raw - nothing needs to be cooked and nothing needs to be refrigerated.
A lot of people think the leaves from nature need to be in always be kept cold and if they sit at room temperature, they will rot and give you botulism, ebola or zombieism. You can come to terms with that on your own. I don't hyper-refrigerate my stuff.
I went with spinach with sweet potato ribbons, parsnip ribbons, dried julienne tomatoes and a swirl of white truffle oil and olive oil. This is based off my Salad Remix concept. I didn't do the noodles - that might be the largest difference. Noodles tend to get sticky - they are much better warmed on a salad.
It's delicious and also easily fits easily in a Ziploc Twist 'n Loc 32oz container - but I made a huge mess making it. Just saying I am a mess. How do you keep all your food in a bowl? It's really hard, man!
Mission 3: Transportation
The picking of the dinner and transportation are sort of. .mm. .married. I do have a variety of food transportation units.
I have this Kotobuki Two Tiered Bento Box - which is pretty cool.
And something that is very similar to this Yumbox - which I do not use and don't really like because of the small compartments. Don't try to fit me into a box!
And this - which I used a lot at my old job - Two Tier Stack Bento Box
I would totally recommend these for your food transportation needs. Or anything made by Zojirushi. Also, I'm an adult. Not a kid.
Anyhow, I used the Ziploc container because it had the room for the most food. I haven't really gotten anything bigger as far as a bento box, so - there you go!
How did I transport this? In my fab-bag. This Zenness Canvas Hiking Traveling Satchel Messenger Bag I got for my birthday.
Mission 4: Plate and Eat
The place we had this function was really nice. A little too nice.
At least two people asked about what I could eat and I told them I brought my own food and then the manager of the place came over to talk to me - and I was like "STOP THE MADNESS I BOUGHT MY OWN FOOD BACK OFF!"
Kidding, I appreciated the concern. I didn't want to inconvenience these hard working people who had 1000 people to take care of. I was happy as a clam!
I had one request - just a plate. It was brought over in a flash! A little shake-shake-shake-and-dump and my food was on my plate as everyone was being served. Evidence back in my bag!
P.R.E.S.T.O, suckas.
Other Thoughts - Food Transportation Specialist
This is not my first event doing this. This type of event was super easy though.
I find wedding are the most difficult because they tend to be long days. This means long days - normally of traveling from one location to another (ceremony, long pause, cocktail, reception, etc).
That bag I have - while not swanky - sure can hold a lot of nuts and dried fruits for snacks and then whole containers of food. My go to is also unsalted peanuts and raisins which I fest on most of the day. I do not do pre-packaged mixes - I stick to my own mix. You want to make sure your finger food is not salty or oily during all-day wedding deals because you don't want to get that on your clothes. You want to avoid overpowering smells like garlic or seasonings which are common on pre-packged mixes. These can marinate and then be a little off-putting to people.
You also want to make sure it won't make you super-thirsty. You might not have access to water. I don't carry water. It's a thing.
I always pack a lot of the raisin-nut combos because it's a hit with the kids and adults.
I used the same salad concept for my now-but-in-the-past-future-brother&sister-in-law's wedding. One of the huge perks - while everyone was waiting to be served while the DJ was being an ass, I had my food.
Kidding, that's rude. I don't eat until everyone is served.
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