Personal Mission: Stop Corporate-Speak

My fellow readians, I have started my own personal mission which my Mom believes will get me fired. I say, bring it. My mission is to remove and correct all corporate jargon, jabber and double-speak from the place of which I work. This I collectively call "corporate-speak."

Why? Because I believe words are powerful and people in high places have been setting the example of bastardizing and spewing words in a way that actually is counterproductive to what they want to accomplish. By using corporate jargon, jabber and double-speak, points are very unclear which leads to distrust and disorganization.

Another why? Using this junk-talk illustrates incompetence, insecurity and laziness. I’m ok with someone being incompetent – I am incompetent in many ways. However, I don’t try to hide it, I try to improve myself or admit some things are too much and hand it over to the better person for the job.  I am not ok with someone being lazy. I refuse to respect insecurity when it comes to my paycheck. If you are too insecure to run the show you are being paid to run, time to find another show.

I dislike this. I like to be clear. I also like to call people out when I think they should be doing better. I need better, corporate world. I need you to be better.

I see this at all levels, which is sad. We got to stop the madness, people. We all have to stop the madness.

My awesome friend Melissa is helping me in this – I have started a list of words I hear in meeting or read in emails that I refuse to use and will question with vengeance if they are directed at me. It’s actually the first page of my notebook. I have made it clear to my manager what my intentions are and I lead by example by refusing to bend words into patterns that they have no business in.

Corporate Jargon
Most companies will have their own common corporate jargon. Normal jargon is sort of like talking shop – there are words that are industry or job specific that everyone in that area understands but outside people do not.

Jargon: (noun) Special words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group and are difficult for others to understand.

Corporate jargon is made up of words that no one understands. Sometimes they even battle, like in this Forbes chart:

Battle!

Jabber
This is jabber. It means nothing, however, outside people must read it and promptly make thoughtful noises and agree so as not to appear dumb. It’s sort of like when a toddler babbles without using real words and you agree with him/her and pretend to have a conversation.

Example: One Society plan and process drives budgeting and aligns resources to successfully achieve the goals of the Society’s 2011-15 strategic response.  Unity of our actions will drive our progress faster and more effectively and results in reporting a more complete story of the impact we are making in the lives of people affected by MS.   The FY14 planning and budgeting process is designed to build one organizational plan that will integrate organizational goals, strategies, deliverables and tactics and will provide even greater transparency

What the Hell does this even mean? Seems to be saying, "Our group tries to make sure our group doesn't go out of business."

I think John wrote it. . .

Double-Speak
Doublespeak is language that deliberately disguises, distorts, or reverses the meaning of words

Example: John’s yearly review is coming up in a week. Please send me any information on John’s appears of strength and opportunity by Friday. 

In truth, what is being requested is John's strengths and weaknesses. However, opportunity has been put in - it is double-speak because "opportunity" means a favorable situation and it is being used to cover up an unfavorable trait.

I would say John is a jack-ass. But it would probably be said as he needs to work on his interpersonal communication techniques.

My Current List
How I play this game (because everything is a game) is by using only words I have heard from the source or have been said or emailed to me. I can easily going onto the Internet and pull thousands of words, I want to work with what I am given, though. Here is my list

Ignore my bad spelling

What You Can Do
Help me! Here is how you can!

Say exactly what you mean. When you write something down or are ready to speak, ask yourself if you can use a simpler word or combination to make your point. Do you need to “reach out” to John or do you need to “call” John. Do you need to “leverage your position” or do you need to make sure things go your way?

When you notice someone using jargon, jabber or double-speak simply say, “What do you mean by _____?”

We can do this, people! Take our language back!

Be Part of the Adventure
Do you have a suggestion or want to see me attempt something? Drop me an email at AdventuringAmanda@gmail.com with your suggestion.

Fix My Den

I have this second bedroom, but, it's really a den. I have never been able to totally use the room. I do a lot of work in there at my desk - which is pretty but not totally functional. I want to get a second monitor and have a bigger space to work but I also need more storage.

Lately, it has become more and more of my "mosh pit" or room I dump everything. You can see my mountain bike in there, my extra car carriers, a fake tree and apparently a snack from Whole Foods.

[Kidding, no food is in there]

I also have a lot of those free bags you get from conferences or types of mild giveaways.

And, yes, that's a hooka. It's not a working hooka because my rats chewed through the hose and I am not sure where I can get a replacement. I don't really use it but it is a odd yet functional piece. Well, it was. It was a gift from a friend who actually went to the middle east for a company I use to work for.

The Goal

Lucky and I

The goal is to really use this room. Since it is not a room I use for living all the time I want to really use it for some storage. It has to look good because I can't hid my stuff behind doors. There will be some downsizing.

Like my extra laptop that died a while ago that I am afraid to get rid of because of my personal information on it and because I might one day remember I have some valuable piece of information on there that I could never get back or recreate.

The room is also my office. A nice desk with two monitors would be cool. I could use a little tune-up on my desktop, as well.

The goal is to make this a nice, functional room that I can spend time in and feel comfortable but not too at home. When you have to be in there all day and then you walk into your actual home and it feels too much like work - that's not good.

Past Attempts
I actually drove to the closest Container Store and even Ikea to find solutions or to even have people look at my den and create a perfect desk and storage area.

Oddly enough, never happened. Which brings me to now with a project I could easily shut the door on and ignore.

Mission
This mission will take time, work and money. I want to work on it, I won't have as much time and over time I can free up money. Let's see what I can do with this space.

I already started the saving and the browsing on Amazon.com

Be Part of the Adventure
Do you have a suggestion or want to see me attempt something? Drop me an email at AdventuringAmanda@gmail.com with your suggestion.