Do Something With My Hair

Memories

I have sort of long hair now. Normally, I would have chopped it off by now and donated to Locks of Love but since I am getting married in October, I didn't think I would have enough to make me pretty.

You can check out my thoughts on my previous donations from my Donate to Locks for Love post.

So, I have a lot of hair and without having air conditioning in my place - or very pathetic cooling systems, getting this hair-monster off my neck and back is great.

I also sometimes get negative comments about the "free" nature of my hair. I mean, I don't know how to dress it up - however, there should be enough of it there to do something. Meanwhile, it's half wave, half curl and all frizz. Even after I assault it with the straightening iron.

Friend: You should do something with your hair.
Me: I did.
Friend: . . .oh. I mean. It looks great.

Research
The Internet is full of "quick," "simple," "beautiful," "amazing" ideas - some that don't involve porn or major skills. Keep in mind, I really don't have a lot of skills. But, that doesn't really stop me from trying out stuff.

Like, the waterfall braid. That was a fail. I can braid - I learned when I rode horses because we had to braid their manes. Maybe my Mom showed me once, but, I was not into it.

But, I digress.

The first issue, everyone has hair products and hair items and nice straight hair. What I found was most of these "simple chic" hair styles involved a lot of hairspray (still haven't figured it out) and hair gel, finishing spray and maybe a curling iron and some other tool.

Seriously - here are instructions on one of these hairstyles:

How to: Spritz a volume booster into your damp hair, like Chi Volume Booster, $14. Create a deep side part and tie your hair into a ponytail at the crown. Take random strands of hair and apply a little Redken Velvet Gelatine 07, $17.50, before setting your hair with a medium barrel iron to create the curls, says Kris Sorbie, Education Artistic Director of Redken 5th Avenue. When the curls have cooled, rake your fingers through them to break them up and randomly pin the curls into a messy bun. Tie a pretty scarf around your head to complete the look. (From Scarf-tied updo)

Sure, ponytail twist by Joanna Goddard, with your little flowers and easy-breezy hair and lifestyle blog with great pictures - sure. . .I'm far to low on the chain of feminine skills to pull this simple thing off. Why? Hair pins. .everywhere. In my cerebellum and probably all over my kitchen floor. And in my bed, I always miss a few in there and find them days later.

Let's not even talk about the Tie and Tease by the Beauty Department. First, really. .straight hair again?

Plus, I don't tease or tie things. I always figured teasing on a daily bases would ruin your hair. I don't need that. Although, I do envy those girls who have this sweet, effortless hair.

In about five seconds, my hair would be looking for its next victim. . .

Pork chop bone? Toddler?

Hey, you going to eat that toddler? Hey, come here kid.

*screams*

What I Did
I decided to go for the ultimate titled hair Scarf Updo because it seemed to hit on all the stuff I was into. I might point out I did try this a while ago but I did not use pins. I also tried used a scarf which was slippery. Oh, and I have no skills. When I did it, I thought my hair was falling out from the design at an alarming rate but I could shove it back in.

The feedback I got was:

Friend: What are you doing with your hair?
Me: Oh, I have it up.
Friend: Really? That looks bad. You normally look more put together.

In my ONLY defense, I did have a hulking set of headphones on most of the day and I was doing voiceover stuff. I ripped those things off my head a few times in unrelenting reading rage. . .

(There is a lot of rage in this post for some reason)

Anyhow, since I fail at most things, I figured I might as well keep trying and even if I ended up with something I would never want to be seen in public with, at least I have something to do while watching TV and my hair is out of my way if I am cleaning. Once it gets to a certain length, the ponytail does nothing.

Nothing!

Here is how to do the scarf updo:

1. Get a headband - perhaps something with some traction on hair - I used a Goody Slide Proof Headwrap which has these silicone dots to grab hair without pulling. 
2. Put the headband on your head like you're a hippy - this keeps the back part up on the back of your head. You can probably adjust this to where ever you want your bunch of hair to rest. I found the "hippie" method works for me. The Scarf Updo by Cristophe doesn't do it this way.
3. Divide your hair into two sections or at least know you have two sections. This keeps stuff more neat back there 'cause you can't see anything. 
4. Take about an inch tendril of hair and loop it up and into the band. Don't do it the other way. That's a mess. Wrap it around once and then pick up some more hair and wrap around again.
5. Once you get to the end of the one side - pin the hell out of that end piece. 
6. Repeat on the other side. If you are like me, you get super-impatient and one side looks "better" than the other but you can really do whatever and it looks good. Looks good messy, is the point.
7. Stab at will with hairpins. Seriously. At will.
8. Optional: You could do a couple tendrils into brains before wrapping and get some other funk in there.  

I was actually pretty pleased with my later attempts - practice does make improvement! And I would totally wear this to work if I didn't work in a missing link to the arctic. I totally would love to find some other scarfs or headbands to decorate this up.

Small victory!