Applebee's Replies!

Applebee's thinks I'm funny. Rather, I appreciate that Applebee's has a social media person with a sense of humor.

I did not have the heart to tell ARN that I don't even know where the nearest Applebee's is.

Ringworm Strikes Again

Curses! I can't help but snuggle those kitten faces even if they are sick.

And. . .why is the back of my arm itching too?

SO ITCHY!!

Happy 2016.

Safe and Sober Ride (Still Costs Money)

IDK who drinks and drives anymore. Not like. . in the way one drink can get you a DUI if you didn't wait exactly 60 minutes. I mean being truly impaired.

That stupid post is going around about the 1-800 number that does work - here are some better resources. And, YES, you do have to pay for someone to drive you around so just go somewhere where you are going to stay overnight or have a DD.

You can check out the Holiday Safe Ride Program

Or check out the Sober Ride site that gives you a list of cabs and the general prices for lugging your drunken self around.

Cheers!

Maddy-Monster: Overwhelmed

Just a message

Maddy Replies to Fish Bowl

You are not lost, you are in a fish bowl. You are a female beta with another female beta in horrible living conditions. I'm sorry the jar-master is abusive.

You are not lost.

Merry Christmas

Merry, Merry! Happy, Happy!

Happy Five to Me!

Happy 5 years out of treatment to me!

I battled for my life for over 15 years – with a couple close calls. So, quite a nice time for me – I normally try to get myself a treat and reflect on the journey from active sickness to chronic illness to permanent damage.

As with my sickness, though, it’s a lonely marker. I never looked sick enough and then I was sick for too long for too long for it to be a milestone. I was also sick for almost half my life, making it almost a layer of my personality rather than a real fight.

Long-term illness is a lot like space like REAL space. Where astronauts go and all that. It’s endless and epic beyond what we can often comprehend so we rarely think or notice anything about it.

So, happy 5 years out of treatment to me! It is not an unnoticed time for me even if it passes like a normal day for everyone else.

Faith in Humanity Restored

So, for the last few weeks I have been volunteering with this guy who is there for court ordered community service. You know, you kinda roll your eyes about it when kids come in for some type of mandatory community service. Court, school, religious - they tend to be a little flighty, not really into it. They just trying to get in and get out and get that box checked. They normally do what you tell them, that’s about it.

So, some kid got himself into trouble. He’s this big dude, too. Football player. Kinda quiet. Could be really intimidating. He tells me he has a dog but his girlfriend has a cat. So, I go over the basics. We chat about how many hours he needs to put in.

Every Monday he’s there with me. He does everything to the letter. Shows up on time, gets right in there cleaning out the litter-boxes, cleaning the cages. . .. You want to think, “of course he’s going to do a good job, it’s court ordered. He doesn't want to screw up.”

But, he’s spending a little extra time with the scared cats and laughing at the kittens playing in the cages. A couple little kittens got to scared and he waited and talked to them at the cage door until he could coax them out and cuddled with them.

This Monday he says, “Hey, listen. My CS is up next week. I’m going to keep coming in though, if that's ok.”

So, here’s this silent-type, giant football player guy who got himself into some trouble, has done a SUPER awesome job cleaning cages, soothing scared kittens and talking to people, showing kids how to hold the cats - holding a tiny little kitten who’s falling asleep in his hand – saying he’s going to keep coming to help out.

Faith in humanity restored.

Things I Eat: Baked Spring Rolls

Good! GOOOOOOOD!

Ok, I need to work on this. I think it's important to showcase failure and success.

I decided I would make a seafood spring roll and bake it so it's like a fried type spring roll.

What You Need

• Parsips: White carrots of love
• Scallons: LOVE
• Spinach: NOM
• Garlic: I used my squeeze supple
• Ginger: Cause: POW
• Shrimp/Seafood: I used Trader Joes's Seafood Blend
• Sesame oil: Boom
• Rice paper wraps: You gotta soak 'em for a hot minute
• Spray non-stick stuff: I used coconut oil spray

What You Do
Preheat your oven to 350. Mix up everything but the seafood. Should look like this. It's all good - season as you want!

Saute up your seafood

Soak your wrappers for a hot minute so they are soft. The longer you soak them, the softer and yet stickier they get. Pile up in your foodz and wrap that up.

Spay a cookie sheet with non-stick stuff - like coconut oil spray (that's what I used) and set 'em out. This picture below is the finest one I did. They all were so bad after this - proving once again, practice is dumb.

Then you bake them at 350 for about 20 minutes. At the 10 minute mark, flip them. They. .mm. .were delicious. . but. .sort of a presentation fail. And one busted open.

If only all my failures were this delicious. 

Writing Update

The dream continues! Not really a dream. Actually, no, it is a dream. A fake-next-to-reality series of fictional events that live only in my head.

Yes. The dream.

Producing Content: B+
I’m giving myself a B+ on producing content. Everyone is super-obsessed with word count so I tallied:

Title Word Count

• Calpurnia Mission: 9,299
• The Rebel Lion: 13,308
• Between Life and Dark: 11,778
• The Stark Truth: 12,814
• Of Haves and Wants: 24,845
• Safe Harbor: 13,466
• Rebel Valley: 24,274
• Of the Best Intentions: 13,208
• Eight o'Clock (Pending): 5,690

Total  Words: 128,682

I don’t know why word count is so important. If I can say something in three words or twenty words – is one better? I just never got the word count thing in fiction. I know teachers need to require it because. . .actually, no, I don’t know what the important of word count is ever.

I have been averaging about 2 stories a month. I feel like December will be a no-show month because I’m still figuring out what to do with the story “Eight o’Clock.”

If anything, “The Stark Truth” taught me sometimes a good twist in a story can take a while to formulate and execute properly. I hated and fought that one for like six months. And wanted to scrap it. Oh well.

I’m really just hitting outlining really hard and testing out different situations and outcomes in my head. I am not as happy with my re-working these stories. A couple I just don’t like as much. Actually, I hate them all for different reasons. Even when you do what you love, you will eventually hate stuff. I’m cool with all my feels. I just feel like I do need to work a little hard on a few of them.

I’m sort of proud of the work I put into this stuff – not always the product, but the work, yes.  Bonus points: I turned a nightmare I had into a viable story. That’s why I gave myself a plus.

Producing Support: D-
I got one person to read and give me useable feedback. My circle of friends and family is not supportive in ways that would be most valuable to me.

Against my better feelz I also joined this writing group. I sent my writing, as requested, to a batch of maybe 8 people – it was the first story. I only got back, “I’m so looking forward to reading this!” and “Great! I’ll have it back to you soon!” and we’re in December and I think they are all filthy liars.

I actually sent a copy of it out in July.

I edited work from about four people in the group within the week I got it because I know how valuable feedback is.

The main problem with writing groups is this:

• 70% of the people are head-in-the-clouds feelers who never do anything or want to improve or grow themselves or others. They want to say they are in a “writing group” and talk about their problems and about books they read.
• 10% haven’t written anything in a really long time but they have a great idea for a movie or maybe a short story or a comic or something. Maybe something like Harry Potter but with a fan fiction element maybe for like something good like based off of this other thing but like with funny stuff. Like, maybe a poem. But maybe it could be like a sit-com or just a novel it might have a witch in it or like a mystery but maybe not.
• 7% are poets who believe writing helps them through bad times and is pure and wonderful and just a touching as they broken feelings are. Just like I don’t go to physical therapy places for entertainment, most of this poetry is best kept in desk drawers. 
• 5% of people are students who are still in pain over the first time someone said something negative about their work. They are applying to get into grad school. They are unrefined because they are untested in anything besides the norm.
• 3% think they are awesome but they are just TOO BUSY, OMG LOLZ! But they are full of name-dropping authors whose books they have read and how you wrote something like one of them once did and you should read that to learn how to write like that and how they went to the book signing and once read an article online about writing and it was so good and they want to tell me about it while I die on the inside because all they are doing is vomiting un-inspired BS made frothy for the masses of failure of which I am one and the weight of their inability, ignorance and disorganization brings the whole goddam group down.  
• 3% are self-published and are there to promote that work. They are working with this guy on a new project which is still in the air. But, it’s cool. It’s going to be big. Did you read the first book? It’s on Amazon for $1.99 and here is the link. It has four stars.
• 2% actually want to learn, grow and help others. I don’t know where this 2% is.

I really miss sharing a passion with someone or a group and learning and growing through it – having that positive influence. Mostly around me right now is. . .not that.

I give myself a D- because I’m just utterly defeated with the learning, growing and branching out my stuff to any receptive area for productive feedback.

There was a group that you paid to join with a pretty good track record of support – according to reviews – and I just couldn't do it. The defeat from before I carry with me and trying again and again with the same results just seems endlessly annoying.

I give myself more than a F because I also believe if I could get all 33 stories on paper rather than invest my time in trying to produce something I am obviously incapable of doing. . .maybe I would be more capable later.

Currently
I’m in a patch of writer’s block.

Actually, that a dumb term everyone uses. It’s not a real thing. Like, you can always write or edit or re-work SOMETHING. I just have a story and I am not sure how to twist it just right. I’m still turning it over my brain. I know I will do it and it will be amazing – I just need to keep working at it. And it’s brutal.

Nothing is blocking me. There’s no blockage.

Blockage means that there is something already created beyond. There is nothing beyond because I didn’t create it yet.

Bellabandz!

A long time ago - when I had long hair - I learned how to do this cool wrap thing in the Do Something With My Hair. And now my hair is long enough I can do it again.

One of the main hair problems I have is that my hair is fine. I have a lot of hair, but, it's fine and slippery. Any hair bands I use slip back and I need to use a lot of hair pins to keep it steady. By the end of the day, though, they always slip.

My former coworker and friend started making these hair bands. I watched her post about them on Facebook - she is an AVID runner. Like, she wins stuff. So, she was saying how the bands help keep her hair out of her face when running and being awesome.

I don't run or do anything, really.

Anyhow, she was making more and more designs which were all super-cute so I had to get one and see if it would work.

Holy. Molie!

I currently have my hair up in one, and I have not used a SINGLE PIN. Sure, some in the back I wrapped around it is coming out because it's short. That would require a pin or so to keep it in no matter way. However, the band is comfortable and it's not moving - I keep thinking it should move, but, it doesn't.

Check. It. Out.

I suggest you check out Bellabandz Headbands on Facebook or Bellabandz on Etsy to see everything in stock and if you have any need for hairbands. They are also super cute. She has sooo many designs.

Look at me - sporting one right now!

Awesome!

Maddy-Monster: Awesome

Just a message for you!

Things I Eat: Go Raw Cookies

Can I just start out by saying I’m super bored with life and ornery. Urg. I need some passion in my life. Some happiness. Urg.

Unrelated, I had to go to Wegmans in the rain to get a gift card for a coworker from the team – and since it involved getting a “support” card, no one was capable.

I find in my life, I am actually incapable of doing most things I do because I don’t have aomsone else doing them for me. Hmm.

But, back to the Wegmans!

I ended up getting a little box of fresh berries – and then wandered the store mentally kicking myself at the lack of things I can eat. Holiday are wonderful, but, they are a painful and dangerous time for me. On top of that, everything is played out in front of a table full of people who are watching and questioning everything – and worse, telling me “go ahead, you can have this” when they CLEARLY don’t have the list of items I can eat memorized and CLEARLY don’t even remember when is in the food they are pushing on me.

This overshadows the actual pain of not being able to connect with people – ‘cause food is a beyond strong connector and those who refuse food are out of the group – and not being able to eat the food that reminds me of childhood or that tastes good.

Whatever.

I toured the gluten-free, even though that’s the least of my problems. And found these little Go Raw packs. They seemed to be ok. They don’t list their ingredients so, you know they hate everyone. They have something about carrots and dates and five simple ingredients on the pack – but what if it was bean or something? That would be horrible. Soy. Ick.

I opted to take the Carrot cake and Ginger Snap because I like those things.

Carrot Cake
Pretty good. Nutmeg and sesame was the biggest flavor. I ate the whole pack. They are crunchy.

Ingredients:

• Organic Coconut 
• Sprouted Organic Sesame Seeds 
• Organic Carrots 
• Organic Dates 
• Organic Nutmeg 

Ginger Snap
Phew! Real ginger. Less sweet. Good! I was only going to have a couple. Then I ate the whole pack. It might contain crack, I'm not sure.

Ingredients:

• Organic Coconut (Unsulphured) 
• Sprouted Organic Sesame Seeds 
• Organic Dates 
• Organic Ginger 

Conclusions
I’m still ornery. And now I ate two packs of cookies. About five weeks ago I ate dairy and only this week have I started to feel better. But my digestion is still off – I might try a probitic but those pills always mess me up. Urg.

Anyhow. Good job, Go Raw. You only made me hate you a little by making me go to your website to see what’s in your food. Thanks. Vegans and people like me love guessing.

Holiday Grump: Babies, Pedophilia and Identity

In a world where people eagerly post 500 pictures of their babies and children, I'd like to remind you that once that photo is online, there is a pedophile doing something sexual things to it.

What? Too much?

Listen, please keep certain pictures to yourself to cherish the innocence of your children open-mouth kissing or being naked. If you would post a picture of your best friend and his/her sibling open mouth kissing without their consent, don't do it to your children. Just because they don't understand and don't know what you are putting out there doesn't make it acceptable.

I don't care what protections you have on your social media of choice - or think you have. It's a risk that has ramifications yet to be fully understood.

Every time you post a photo of you baby or child, you are creating an online identity without any consent from that person. These photos will always exist as your child struggles to find his/herself. Your child will not have the same control over his/her identity that you did as an adult signing up for your own account. Birth photos, pooping photos, crying photos, naked photos - all these will already be out there for the child to deal with, probably alone and probably under the watchful eye of his/her peers and generation.

I understand that's hard to fully understand these things because parents and family of small children can be very self-centric when it comes to the accessory that is the child. It is a world my generation - and probably your generation - never had to live in, but as an adult with power over a child, you need to be hyper aware of the future.

You are the adult. Protect them before you satisfy your vanity and wave your child's life and identity around as a way to get attention for yourself. Or worse, wave it hard enough that the local pedophile shows up at your child's school - remember those first day of school pictures? - with all the information needed to grab your child.

Things I Eat: Turkey Carcass Soup

Carcass? Ewwwww. . .

HEY! HEEEY! You think you are a carnivore, then you use every piece of the beast. Also, bones and remains are how you make fantastic soups and stocks. If you say you are a hard-core meat-eater and don't use the carcass and bones after a meal, you're not doing it right.

What do you mean you buy it?

Just kidding, I buy broth. But, I always enjoy grabbing a carcass to make my own soup!

What You Need

• A carcass – We had two turkey at about 15lbs each. I got both! We strip the meat pretty good, but, there is always stuff left and. . .well. .DA BONES! You can use any type of animal for stock: lamb, cow, goat, duck - whatever
• Onion – Some of this depends on how big your carcass is. I use about four onions
• Garlic – I used about 4 cloves and a healthy squeeze from the minced garlic thingy
• Sage – LOVE sage. I have it in my spice rack
• Basil – YES! I used the dried kind, again
• Thyme – Lots and lots! This is what makes stuffing taste so good, I think.
• Corn – I used one bag frozen corn
• Red Bliss Potatoes – I think I used about 5lbs. 
• Kale – Raw and chopped
• Salt – To taste

Optional
Carrots, celery, parsley – all those staples. My lover doesn’t like celery or carrots. .and I didn’t have any.

What You Do
It's good to have a stock pot on hand. Stock pots are large and awesome. They are good for making broths, like this, large stews and even stuff like shelfish. You could use a pasta pot, but, you might be sad. Mine is huge. HUGE. Great for this kind of stuff.

You can break down the carcass if it's not fitting in there. No worries.  Just get all the stuff in there. Chop up your onions and garlic. You can be sloppy about it because you are going to be cooking everything until these things break down. Also, cut up about half your taters. Potatoes cook down and make things creamy and thick. Then you cover the thing in water – or at least so 95% of the carcass is covered in water.

Season generously with sage, thyme and basil. Boil and then simmer for. . .about. .let’s say 3 hours. It can be less, it can be more. Taste and season more if you need to.

After you are done simmering it – pull out the carcass pieces. Let them cool for a minute – then pull away any meat. The meat should pretty much be falling off the bones at this point, put all the meat into the soup. Toss the bones without any meat left on them. Unless you use them for something else. I chuck mine at this point.

Add in some whole potatoes – if they are too large, cut them into fourths or whatever. I like to have some whole potatoes in my stew. Let that simmer until the potatoes are soft. You can also add more water if it's too thick for you. Add in the bag of frozen corn,  a couple handfuls of kale or spinach and any other extra seasonings and simmer until it’s all warm again.

Serve!

It’s delicious. It also stores very well! Freeze a couple containers for later consumption. Throw the rest in your fridge - it gets better with age. You can always add a little water before you warm it up. I like a nice, thick soup, but, you can add some water to make it thinner and still delicious.

You can add noodles, if you want. Or add some turkey meatballs. Stuffing? Anything! It's super delicious in waffles. .anything.

Side Effects of my Life: Thrush

Just when you thought you couldn't be having a more super-awesome life - you get thrush. You wanna WebMD that? Here you go!

Small amounts of the candida fungus are present in the mouth, digestive tract, and skin of most healthy people. They are normally kept in check by other bacteria and microorganisms in the body. However, certain illnesses, stress, or medications can disturb the delicate balance, causing the fungus candida to grow out of control and causing thrush.
Medications that upset the balance of microorganisms in the mouth and may cause thrush include:

• Corticosteroids

• Antibiotics

• Birth control pills

Corticosteroids - that's what I'm on. Hydrocortisone, to be exact, which I take for my adrenal insufficiency situation. When I get thrush, it means I have been taking my meds (mm, yays?) and I also probably have a full blown yeast overgrowth in my gut. Awesome-sauce!

This is kind of what it looks like in the mouth - I was on treatment for a little when I thought to snap this to show what life is like on this side of the adrenal glands.

Gross? Well, life is gross. Get over it.

Maddie Responds to: Virginia

Every now and then I like to go on Facebook, pick some meme or statement and fact-check it leaving my comments below.

It does wonders for my ego. Yet fills me with. . .what's the word. ..despair. . that we are so easily taken by graphics with bold text on them.

So, here's one I got up on my feed.

This is from the TRACE Facebook page. My comment was:

This claim that homelessness has been "ended" is based on federal standards and definitions and glosses over other federal residency and identification issues. Virginia is also not the first state to claim accomplishing this concept per the “Mayors Challenge to End Veteran Homelessness.” 

Being offered housing and ending homelessness are two separate issues that, again, gloss over the stigma around homelessness and the unique issues and needs surrounding transients - vets or not. Free or affordable housing is a step, but, in reality, it leaves most men, women and children struggling with mental and physical issues and unable to sustain or exist within the government approved parameters of success.  

It sure does sound like one of those politicians running for office is doing his/her best to keep this concept alive for votes. The ultimate responsibly still rests on people like us to protect, support and sustain those in our communities without prejudice while remaining suspicious of such claims that are merely an excuse for complacency.

Parenthood: Nope

There are many reasons I never want to be a parent. Number one is, I don't want to be a parent. Getting pregnant is a choice, not a duty. In the Bible, it's a punishment because of the Eve-devil-fruit situation.

It does seem like children can be fun for people. Dress them up in whatever clothes and pretend they have whatever personality. Then be amazed they are still alive as they hit "milestones."

Two people having a baby can offer a type of unity to two people. Like, you have a distraction - the baby - and something in common. If you don't have much in common to begin with, it is harder to keep a relationship together.

I just could care less.

I do fully support people making the choice to have children. Have those babies, people who want to have babies! I just don't want them myself. And I don't understand them. Or think they are cute. Or funny. Or. . .whatever.

I am so happy with my decisions.

Texts With Melissa: Emotional Intellgence

Another installment of TEXTS WITH MELISSA!!! YAAAAY!

I have been working hard on my "emotional intelligence" which is actually pretty good but my general apathy and low tolerance for people makes other people think I'm not. Oh, and I don't want to eat their food.

However, I have been trying to be supportive and follow the rules taught in the stuff we buy that tells us we are all leaders and dreamers and. . .how we need to be supportive and caring. If we were children, it would be like a teacher saying we're all speical and we have to sit down and shut up and look forward.

ANYHOW. .I'm trying.

Emotional intelligence in 5. . .4. . ..3 . .. 2. . .

Things I Eat: Cod Soup

Here fishy, fishy! So, this might not be the pretties thing I ever made, but, it was delicious.

I get these packs of frozen cod from Trader Joe’s. It’s a mild fish. Good in a pinch. I made some pasta with it before and it didn't seem like a lot. So, I thought maybe a soup. Since I was tied I. . .didn't do everything on the actual recipe I was going to follow.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups quinoa milk: Very earthy drink, wouldn’t put it on cereal but great for a savory boost!
• 1 Onion: Chopped up like you like
• 1 pack Brussel Sprouts: I didn't have potatoes
• Minced garlic: I have this big jar of it. I added like two tablespoons
• Tomato paste: I used like ¼ cup because I like it.
• 1 bunch fresh thyme: I had this left over, so I added it with the spices
• 1 can diced tomatoes: Chunky!
• 1 bunch kale: YEEEEAH. ..kale. It cooks down a lot. I chopped it.
• 1/2 pound (at least) cod: Cut it into chunks. 

Bring milk to a boil. I guess you could use normal milk. If you’re lame. Throw in your chopped onions and garlic and Brussels sprouts. Then put in your tomato paste, tomatoes, chopped kale and cod.

Simmer that until the cod is cooked. I used smaller pieces so this didn't take too long. Dump in any spices you like!

Normally people put in potatoes - I didn't 'cause I didn't have any. You can add those in and cook them in the milk and cook until they are tender. Then continue with everything else.

Fish cooks fast! So this is a quick meal. I was really happy with it. You could totally add other veggies like celery or carrot. If you can't do dairy, I really suggest using the quinoa milk for extra richness. Or a coconut milk.