Writing Update

The dream continues! Not really a dream. Actually, no, it is a dream. A fake-next-to-reality series of fictional events that live only in my head.

Yes. The dream.

Producing Content: B+
I’m giving myself a B+ on producing content. Everyone is super-obsessed with word count so I tallied:

Title Word Count

• Calpurnia Mission: 9,299
• The Rebel Lion: 13,308
• Between Life and Dark: 11,778
• The Stark Truth: 12,814
• Of Haves and Wants: 24,845
• Safe Harbor: 13,466
• Rebel Valley: 24,274
• Of the Best Intentions: 13,208
• Eight o'Clock (Pending): 5,690

Total  Words: 128,682

I don’t know why word count is so important. If I can say something in three words or twenty words – is one better? I just never got the word count thing in fiction. I know teachers need to require it because. . .actually, no, I don’t know what the important of word count is ever.

I have been averaging about 2 stories a month. I feel like December will be a no-show month because I’m still figuring out what to do with the story “Eight o’Clock.”

If anything, “The Stark Truth” taught me sometimes a good twist in a story can take a while to formulate and execute properly. I hated and fought that one for like six months. And wanted to scrap it. Oh well.

I’m really just hitting outlining really hard and testing out different situations and outcomes in my head. I am not as happy with my re-working these stories. A couple I just don’t like as much. Actually, I hate them all for different reasons. Even when you do what you love, you will eventually hate stuff. I’m cool with all my feels. I just feel like I do need to work a little hard on a few of them.

I’m sort of proud of the work I put into this stuff – not always the product, but the work, yes.  Bonus points: I turned a nightmare I had into a viable story. That’s why I gave myself a plus.

Producing Support: D-
I got one person to read and give me useable feedback. My circle of friends and family is not supportive in ways that would be most valuable to me.

Against my better feelz I also joined this writing group. I sent my writing, as requested, to a batch of maybe 8 people – it was the first story. I only got back, “I’m so looking forward to reading this!” and “Great! I’ll have it back to you soon!” and we’re in December and I think they are all filthy liars.

I actually sent a copy of it out in July.

I edited work from about four people in the group within the week I got it because I know how valuable feedback is.

The main problem with writing groups is this:

• 70% of the people are head-in-the-clouds feelers who never do anything or want to improve or grow themselves or others. They want to say they are in a “writing group” and talk about their problems and about books they read.
• 10% haven’t written anything in a really long time but they have a great idea for a movie or maybe a short story or a comic or something. Maybe something like Harry Potter but with a fan fiction element maybe for like something good like based off of this other thing but like with funny stuff. Like, maybe a poem. But maybe it could be like a sit-com or just a novel it might have a witch in it or like a mystery but maybe not.
• 7% are poets who believe writing helps them through bad times and is pure and wonderful and just a touching as they broken feelings are. Just like I don’t go to physical therapy places for entertainment, most of this poetry is best kept in desk drawers. 
• 5% of people are students who are still in pain over the first time someone said something negative about their work. They are applying to get into grad school. They are unrefined because they are untested in anything besides the norm.
• 3% think they are awesome but they are just TOO BUSY, OMG LOLZ! But they are full of name-dropping authors whose books they have read and how you wrote something like one of them once did and you should read that to learn how to write like that and how they went to the book signing and once read an article online about writing and it was so good and they want to tell me about it while I die on the inside because all they are doing is vomiting un-inspired BS made frothy for the masses of failure of which I am one and the weight of their inability, ignorance and disorganization brings the whole goddam group down.  
• 3% are self-published and are there to promote that work. They are working with this guy on a new project which is still in the air. But, it’s cool. It’s going to be big. Did you read the first book? It’s on Amazon for $1.99 and here is the link. It has four stars.
• 2% actually want to learn, grow and help others. I don’t know where this 2% is.

I really miss sharing a passion with someone or a group and learning and growing through it – having that positive influence. Mostly around me right now is. . .not that.

I give myself a D- because I’m just utterly defeated with the learning, growing and branching out my stuff to any receptive area for productive feedback.

There was a group that you paid to join with a pretty good track record of support – according to reviews – and I just couldn't do it. The defeat from before I carry with me and trying again and again with the same results just seems endlessly annoying.

I give myself more than a F because I also believe if I could get all 33 stories on paper rather than invest my time in trying to produce something I am obviously incapable of doing. . .maybe I would be more capable later.

Currently
I’m in a patch of writer’s block.

Actually, that a dumb term everyone uses. It’s not a real thing. Like, you can always write or edit or re-work SOMETHING. I just have a story and I am not sure how to twist it just right. I’m still turning it over my brain. I know I will do it and it will be amazing – I just need to keep working at it. And it’s brutal.

Nothing is blocking me. There’s no blockage.

Blockage means that there is something already created beyond. There is nothing beyond because I didn’t create it yet.