Things I Eat: Artichoke!

There I was, in Trader Joe's, and I saw this. What is it? Can I eat it? (Sorry, Id on't know how to rotate pictures)

Of course, it's four artichokes -  four whole artichokes. Raw. Now, you can eat artichokes raw - you would just clean it and cut off the tough bits and dig right in. You can also boil, steam or even throw these guys on the BBQ.

You do what to buy whole artichokes really close to when you want to serve them. They don't last long. So, grab them a day or two before you want to eat them.

Artichokes are great on their own - you can even dust them with cornmeal or whatever crunches you want. They taste like a very mellow celery, the inners being more robust in flavor than the outer parts. They are super healthy for you - great for stomach aliments. . .

 . . . and really are powerhouses of good stuff like. .I don't know. Antioxidants and stuff. Check it out. Pretty good profile here.

What a delightful veggie!

Wait, it's not a vegetable. It's actually a flower like broccoli and cauliflower. Delicious nature. Now, I would probably just start trying to eat this raw - good thing I have the Internet.

I came across this guide of how to trim and eat it. - How to Cook and Eat an Artichoke which is really a good guide.

I decided to steam my artichoke because it seems like the easiest thing since I have a steamer.

First, you need to "clean" the globes. I pealed off the end pieces by the stem and cut off the top bit where all the leaves really come together. I did score the stem, but, I didn't cut it. The stem is delicious and can be eaten. It is a lot like the artichoke heart - the best part (they say) of the whole thing.

Now, convention will tell you to rub lemon all over the exposed bits to keep them from browning. Because we hate brown? I didn't have time for this, I didn't care of it got brown. It doesn't MEAN anything. Just that the flower is oxidizing - like an apple or avocado inners.

Into my steamer for 25 minutes!

Every wonder why it's called an artichoke? I don't know why either. But, the "choke" is from the thistle bit inside. Artichokes are from the thistle family and you don't want to eat the choke. Or you will choke. I didn't test this. A lot of people remove the choke before cooking, I decided to wait until the whole flower was soft and nice and then remove it.

Here is the steamed artichoke.

I cut it in half and you can see the choke - it is the purple stuff and the thistle like stuff in there. Once cooked, it scrapes out really easily. Once you get in there, you will see all the fibers of the thistle and it is NOT hard to get out.

Then it's time to serve! I got a little olive oil and mixed it with salt, lemon juice and a hint of garlic. The outer most leaves - those only have meat on the base of the leaf. You can scrap this off with your teeth. As you get closer to the heart, you can eat those leaves. They might even look familiar if you ever had an artichoke and spinach dip or artichoke in a salad.

The heart, the bit attached to the stem, is pure eating goodness. You can eat that whole thing easily. Most of the time, when you buy canned or frozen artichoke is it this piece, the heart. Which is great if you think this whole process is too much work.

Here are the remains of the four artichokes. I ate them all myself because my lover is not a big fan of artichoke. Makes sense, he isn't a fan of celery, either.

YUM!

Home Goods Haul

Ever walk into Home Goods for, I don't know, a pack of hangers and then end up finding two things you super-needed?

Storage is a premium at my place

And this awesome end table - which I got for my love, it had a sort of antique revival feel. Little bit like a ship-like chest thing. I'm not sure if he knows that's why I got it, but, I did.

Go. Home. Goods.

#winning

Bike Training: Rock Bottom

Remember when I rode 4.5 miles on my bike and wanted to die? Yeah, it’s that time. . .

So begins bike training! That’s right, I have a hankering for a century in October (that’s 100 miles on a bike in one day). I will be riding in the MS City to Shore and I’m even assembling a team. My team consists of one person. . me.

I will be giving updates on my bike training and fundraising. Let’s chat about the form of these thingsy!

Fundraising
I currently have raised $265.00 toward my $500 goal. It takes $300 to be able to ride – so I’m totally on target because I have super generous friends. I like to throw $10-$25 bucks to people when they are supporting worthy causes and a lot of time they repay.

Training
I will be riding Tuesday, Thursdays and Saturdays. I know, I know, totally cuts into Thirsty Thursday, but, it’s a small price to pay. I’ll get drunk on Wednesday.

Of course, I can’t drink while I’m on this anti-fungal stuff for my gut. It has a disulfiram-like property which means it makes you want to die if you drink alcohol. Whatever.

This is my ride stuff so far - first, my two short rides. Nothing dramatic here. These tend to be hilly rides, so, I am less concerned with my speed. These build my cardio and resilience.

And for my long ride - always double the goal of the short ride. In this case, I'm doing 5 miles for my short so 10 miles for the long.

Eating
No lie, I got a lot of issues eating. Afraid to eat, food sensitivities. . .stuff. I still haven’t felt hungry with any consistency so – ick.

Eating is pretty important when you are in training. While my century is an “easy” century, I do need to fuel my body right and at the right times. Calories are fuel – proteins and fats help me grow stronger and repair damages. I have been doing a little research on stuff I can eat and I’ll have to start making batches of food for easy consumption after and before rides.

Current and Future Thoughts
I am going to try to keep up a regular core routine – just some stuff I can do in my living room to help strengthen my core, back and arms. It’s never a bad idea. I will even try to get the husband involved.

The Daily Smooth: Pumpkin Pie

Check it!

Today’s Blend:

• Blackberries
• Blueberries
• Buckwheat groats (topping)
• Cinnamon
• Pumpkin
• Pumpkin butter
• Pumpkin pie spice
• Raspberries
• Spinach
• Whole flaxseed

Pretty much tastes like a pumpkin pie – shazam! Pie for lunch? You bet. This is also a very thick smoothie!

Some Facts
It’s the season of pumpkin – and pumpkin is known to be pretty low in calories with a lot of fiber and Vit C! Pumpkin also has a lot of carotenoids (they are found in colorful plants which your body can turn into Vit A which are ALSO powerful antioxidants that your body uses to fight off infection and enhance your immune response – take that flu shot! Just kidding, eating pumpkin shouldn't make you think you can’t get sick, you just are doing your body good).

Cooked pumpkin also has more potassium than a banana-er.

Speaking of season (ing) – cinnamon, deadly in inhale during the cinnamon challenge, is equally deadly in fighting fungal infections. Sure, we all got some fungus in us which is natural and our immune system keeps it in check.

You f*** up your immune system and BAM the inmates run the asylum! And if anyone knows about the non-cool fungal infections, it’s this girl! Thrush, candida, ringworm, Pneumocystis pneumonia. . .have some cinnamon. It’s delicious.

Drink up, friends.

Check out more of my blends by going to the Things I Eat page!

Camera Phone

You know how camera phones are really becoming super awesome and fast at taking you picture in rapid fire? You can actually see reactions in frame-by-frame clarity. The sharpness, the joy, the excitement.

Then, there is me.

May you frame-by-frames be great.

Feeling in my Gut: Part 2

It's always good to have friends who understand the importance of poopz. You might remember this from Feeling in my Gut.

YES. After about the fourth day of medication, I began to produce normal poops. Let's all hear it for normal poops! Waking up every couple hours to empty out some diarrhea - you know, that magical point where you are like, "How much more stuff can be in me?"

I think questions like that are a sign of adulthood. 

The whole course of medication is 30 days. I am super tempted to stop at 15 days and hoard this medication if I get another infection. This is my second in about two years, so, would cut down on my medical costs. I have another type of the same medication. Hmm. 

Anyhow, I haven't had any pain in my side or back. I have been a little more tired than normal which I think can be expected. 

So, time to start eating again! Bike training is coming up and I need to be able to consume enough calories for that. 

So far, I have eaten the following without any issues:

• Mango slices
• Banana ice cream
• Rainbow sprinkles (you need these, sometimes)
• Coconut milk ice cream
• Rice pasta
• Grape tomatoes
• Basil
• Spring mix
• Sticky rice
• Orange
• Blackberries
• Chicken
• Shrimp
• Red peppers

Life. Is. Good.

Things I Eat: Hamburgers!

That's right. Time for some beef!

Did you know a lot of people do NOT know how to MAKE hamburgers at home? They buy frozen hamburger or pre-made patties. OR they go to a fast-food place? What ever happened to treating yourself to a gourmet burger right in your own home? Without pants. And a cockatil.

The husband and I celebrated 6 months of marriage - and by celebrated, he did all the work. He made me a two potatoes worth of sweet potato fries and I ate the whole plate all by myself. He also got ground beef, but, neither of us were that hungry to make burgers.

NEXT DAY!

I made burgers!

What You Need

• 2 lbs of ground beef: Beef, beef, beef, beef!
• Peppers: I had yellow, orange and red. I used about 1/2 a cup of the mix, because it's what I had.
• Onions: Just a sweet onion. Sweet. sweet, onion! About 1/2 a cup.
• Paprika: This is the best thing ever! I used like a tablespoon.
• Garlic: I used Squeeze Minced Garlic because it appeared to be vegan. I used about 2 tablespoons - about three glopes. 
• Thyme: I got more than thyme, baby! About 1 teaspoon.
• Onion Powder: Just a bit.
• Parsley: I had fresh Italian parsley - which is fantastic!
• Spinach: Optional, but, strongly encouraged. 
• Hamburger rolls: I like the thin ones? I don't eat them.
• Fixin's: You know, condiments (which I don't eat) or salad.

If you want, make some fries. I made sweet potato and Russet potato fries. You will have to estaimate how much you want. I used one large sweet potato and like. . .you know. .a couple Russet ones. 

What You Do

Hamburgers are made with love - real ones are. Love is getting your hands dirty. DIRTY! So, dump your ground beef into a bowl and then throw everything in. That's really it. 

I meant EVERYTHING! Amounts? Ok, it's really up to your tastes. You could really season it anyway you want. You can throw in taco seasoning or BBQ seasoning. You can throw in whatever goodness you want - I liked thyme, paprika and garlic, mostly. I also like to have chunks of onion and chunks of colorful peppers.

I also like fresh spinach and parsley. Add more green for. .you know. .more green.

Then you just roll 'em into balls and then flatten them out. I made about nine patties. It was a good time. I put them into the fridge and didn't take a picture because I was tired of washing my hands. 

Then I cut up the potato and found we were out of olive oil.

For the Russet potatoes, I cup them up and used garlic olive oil. I added a little layer of onions, too, because who doesn't love onions?

For the sweet potato, I cut them very, very thin which is the only way you can even hope to get them crunchy. I used the last of the olive oil and a little salt on them. And ate some. Just some. 

The potatoes, I cooked them for about 20 minutes at 400.

The burger - get this OVEN! Yep, in the oven with the fries. I cooked them with the potatoes for 20 minutes. I turned them at 10 minutes. You could pan-fry or throw them on the grill. I don't have a grill and I didn't want to pan fry because I have a smoke detector that is dying to go off at any notice. 

Everything turned out great! Here is me getting a plate!

And then I tried to be artistic. I also put some garlic on top of mine and put the burger on a bed of spring mix. 

These were so good. Just the right amount of meat and my sweet potatoes even got crunchy because I cut them nice and thin. This is actually a very healthy situation - and when it comes to allergies, not a problem! You don't need to use breadcrumbs or eggs or any of that stuff. Just keep it pure.

Nail(ed) To the Couch: Nude Discovery

I went for a manicure and pedicure because. . .I don't need to justify my life choices to you.

I have been in search of a nude shade. While I love myself some red polish (blue red) and colors, I also like a nice nude. I had been doing a lot of deeper colors so I wanted to do something nude. Not pinks, which I tend to do. But I am horrible at picking out nude shades. Or - really any color.

Anyhow, I think I found a winner! Don't Pretzel My Buttons - which is part of the Germany collection by OPI. The name makes no sense to me, Don't pretzel my buttons? Like, take them and twist them and deep fry them? How is any part of that intictin. Whatever, I got this killer manicure going on - which I needed since I removed my own gel polish but got impatient and didn't soak it long enough and. . .I totally damaged my nails.

Victory! Now I have two nudes I like - both by OPI, actually. Samoan Sand (featured in my Me-icure post) which I prefer in the gel form, otherwise it's too light for me. And now this for a normal manicure

And my toes are yellow (thanks to Color Club's Almost Famous - and, let's face it, toes are just a staging ground for what I'm going to put on my fingers.

Feeling in my Gut

As I wrote on Friday, eating had become a bit of a struggle. Bummer. 

Soap Box

Gross? Probably. But, I feel like it's my job to remove some stigma from digestive issues. What I go through is what a lot of people go through but we can't or won't talk about it because it's "gross." 

Well, it should be talked about and understood.

The Gross Part

Let's get all caught up, shall we? 

About a four weeks ago, I had a bit of heartburn or something. It turned into raging reflux – RAGING REFLUX – where I could feel the back of my throat burning and could rub the spot with my tongue. Ouch.

I felt a lot of pressure at the top of my stomach – the same thing I had when my ulcer was healing. Ok, assumed ulcer. Not like I got antibiotics for it, I got “keep a stiff upper lip and some Pepcid.” Ulcers are caused mostly by bacteria coming up the track.

Then I had horrible pain in my right side. I normally have pressure there, up against my ribs. This was pretty bad. Then my entire colon exploded.

Ok, not really. It felt like it, though. And let’s be specific here, ok. SPECIFIC. Because the next time someone is like, “Oh, upset tummy?” I want you to point them to this.

I had liquid diarrhea for three days. Then constipation – you know, fecal impacted poops. Nothing was moving. With this, however, comes the colon trying to move things and it sort of feels like your colon just exploded. Forget any urge to poop, it’s just horrible, gut-curling pain.

Oh, is that your tummy rumbling? Giggle.

Nope, that’s type one on the Bristol Stool Chart trying to get the @#$ out. What does type 1 do? Well, it’s little pellet poops, like rabbit poops.

Doctor Rant - Again

I have really been not going to my special doctor – the one who makes you take supplements – because I get a lot of inadvertent pressure to go to “real” doctors.

Just to note, my doctor also prescripts drugs but he is holistic in his approach and examines test results, diet, past traumas, all that.  

The concept was I should see a Gastroenterologist (GI) which I put off like the plague - like I do for all doctor visits. 

I don’t like doctors because they tell me to just wait and see if everything gets better. They tend to dismiss those pesky 15 years of my life. They like to tell me I’m pretty and maybe I need to relax. Maybe I just need to take an Advil. They like to make me hunt them down for results of tests and tell me, “everything is fine” and try to make it ok for me to live in misery. The bloating isn't real, they say, it’s just my poor body image. The diarrhea, well, it can’t be that bad. Lyme? Oh, everyone gets that, no big deal. I once even had a doctor who told me the brutal tests he could put me through if I really thought I had a problem.

The Results

I went back to the doctor who isn't a specialist. I actually really went back to him because I was getting some thrush symptoms.

Guess who has an awesome fungal gut infection? 

This girl! 

It causes ulcers, bad acid stuff, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, lack of appetite. . .I mentioned my weight loss but he pointed out I only lost about 9lbs since my last visit in December. 

I got medication and things are already starting to get . . .better? Let’s just say, killing off a colony of anything in your insides is not a pleasant event. He also gave me some supplements to help repair the damage and sooth my inners.

He was also pretty concerned about the liver situation (check out Don’t WebMD That: Part 2) and I would have brought my labs but I couldn't find them and/or gave up on life. I will be getting him a copy – it was nice that he brought up my last blood test he took to show me nothing had been out of short but the liver doesn't just become inflamed. He wants to know why. The other doctor shut me up by scheduling a follow-up ultrasound.

So, I’m just avoiding being dehydrated and fending off being exhausted. And really wondering why we have Scott Toilet Paper‎ and not Charmin. Or that Quilted Northern stuff. SERIOUSLY.

Conclusion

And, yes, this is why I don’t eat a lot of food offered to me. I don’t know what’s in it and this could be the result. 

Eating - Why I'm Not. . .?

Sometimes people say they wish they had my food issues so they could lose weight.

And never have body issues, body images, eating and nutrition been made so utterly clear.

You are wrong.

If you ever say, "I wish I had a medical condition so I could lose weight" you are wrong.

You are wrong as a person and you have advanced society in the wrong direction as part of a culture. You are wrong.

You are, in one statement, in the view of yourself, your accountability to yourself, your place in the universe and you are being a royal suck-ranch to someone like me who struggles - STRUGGLES- with the most mundane task as eating. You negate both the person with the condition and yourself into nothing.

You. Are. Wrong.

Apologize to yourself, to the person who you dared to say this to and maybe even society as a whole.

And don't ****ing ever say it again.

Past
Over the last few months, my calorie intake has really dwindled while my digestive problems have increesed. I have no hunger function but I do have a lot of colon issues.

I had a good three days of liquid ass, you know, diarrhea. Then it was followed up by rabbit-poops. The hard little balls that state you have issues. Ever hear of the Bristol Stool Scale?

So, I live between burning liquid ass and hard, hemorrhoid causing rabbit-poops. Go. Me. I think I started to get worried when I could see my hip-bones and rib-bones sticking out of my skin.

Now
I have been working hard to eat. As someone who generally eats a raw vegan diet - with meat! - I have a feeling I have more of an IBS issue that needs to be worked out rather than a bad diet.

I have started doing something I never wanted to do - forcing myself to eat. Even if I have to have the food in front of me all day!



I feel like this was a good days work. And I love berries!

I should be getting back to using my NutriBullet and smoothies, but, it's been. . .hard. I did make up some lo mein, which is a favoirte of mine. I loaded it with tons of veggies.

And by ton - I mean like, a lot. I think I should go to the doctor. . .

 

Foxy Mug - The Best of Amazon Haul

I think I would get more attention if I called this an "Amazon Haul." Hauls are all the rage right now. People do yard sale hauls and makeup hauls and. . well, you get the idea. 

I ordered this awesome mug from Amazon dot com after seeing it on my Polyvore app thing when I was doing this thing. . wait. .never mind. I bought this on Amazon -  that's a better sentence!

It's the Foxy Tail Mug and it is holding my coffee very nicely!

I would like to point out this is totally a left-handed mug if you want the face to face away from you. Maybe you want it to face you, I don't know. I feel like the face should be looking out at people.

Which bring me to a totally unrelated but weird conversation I had. Since I work in a corporate office, I brought in this Velcro catch thing - you have two paddled that you attach to your hand and then this tennis ball you throw sticks to it. Anyhow, while I was throwing it across a bank of cubes, my coworker is like, "You're left-handed?"

Is this a thing? Like, is this what left-handed people deal with on a daily?

"Are you [dum dumm dummm!] LEFT-HANDED?!"

I don't know how to answer this question, actually. Do I throw with my left-hand? Yes. Do I drive with only my left hand? Yes.

But I write with my right-hand.

Anyhow, I said something like, "Why? And then "I throw with my left-hand" and he kept asking. Like it was weird.

I only write about this because it happens every time I go to chunk stuff. I would never notice what hand someone else's uses.

Yeah. Take that, 5 minutes of your life you won't get back!

Let Training Begin!

The time is now! Training! And with training - pre-training. Because when you are as weird as me - you need to start before you start in order to start. 

Yayha!

Bike

This might be the year I learn how to change my own flat tire. Wouldn't THAT be something? I never was in a situation where I had to do it myself. Awkward.

My bike is actually all set - maybe just needs some tire air. Actually, I could use new tires. Whatever.

Bike is going to be up and ready to go - no problem!

Food

Most critical! How to fuel my body without shutting it down. I wish it was a simple as typing in “vegan” and finding stuff. It’s not. No wheat, no soy – no yeast.

I will have to start eating more than I do. I guess eating one meal a day is out. Bummer.

Most people are told to be concerned with protein. I mean, STFU about protein. I have no problem eating spinach and chicken. And a lot of more sweet potato. Rice is always a winner for me – in grain or noodle form. Beef and seafood, as well. I really am going to eat a lot more veggies, maybe even bring back the smoothie. The problem will be if I am hungry enough to want to eat. I’ll do my best!

You can check out the stuff I'm going to be eating on my Things I Eat page. 

My favorite recovery meal was always Chicken Parmesan – and my husband has created (YES CREATED!) a baked-fried chicken that I can eat. Couple with some rice noodles. Awesome!

I also can work on making my own fast-snacks for my endurance rides. Having something that’s quick and

easy to eat at 10 mile breaks is really key for me. Gotta eat when you are on an endurance ride. The only problem with me making stuff is portion – while calories are mostly a lie, I need to make sure I am taking in a good amount. Relying on something prepackaged means I know how much I am getting.

I am going to give a try to the Vega stuff – I bought the powder a while back to help me get something into my body. Vega makes a line of products. After some careful checking, I can eat the Chocolate Coconut Cashew bars (only one in that line I can eat, actually) which will be great for snacks when I’m booking a good amount of miles. Maybe I’ll even get the husband on them – I don’t know what stuff he eats.

My favorite go-too gel shot for long rides – The Cliff MochaEnergy Gel Shot is totally good to go! I had to do a little research on “Organic Maltodextrin” but it’s a good to go. I mean, I hope they make it from corn, but, it’s processed enough that I shouldn't have to worry too much about it. 

Fun

I have an icon- of course! 

And I am trying to recruit people who want to ride with me - both in keeping up and pushing me, you know? Biking is fun for me - and as I tried to explain without much success - it's my church. I actually feel closer to God when I ride. Weird, maybe. I like.

I also want to get people who want to maybe go in on a couple shirts or something. How awesome would that be? Swag. 

Things I Eat: Random Berry Dessert

I don’t think I’m that complicated. Nor is my food. And my photography skills surely suck.

I did make a rather delightful dessert, however. All vegan. Raw. You know. Good.

You can find recipes like this if you look up vegan desserts – the crust is always made of nuts and honey and the insides soaked cashews and fruit. But, you can sort of do whatever within those bounds. So I did!

What You Need

• Frozen Fruit: I used about a cup of frozen fruit blend I use in my smoothies. You could use fresh stuff. I just thawed mine by throwing it into the soaking cashew bowl. 
• Cashews: I used about a cup, again. These are the most common to use and maybe the most forgiving for insides of a cake. You are going to want to soak them so they get nice and soft. Soak and drain, I might add. 
• Walnuts: About a cup! Any nut blend you want really works. I used walnuts because I had walnuts. 
• Maple syrup: Not just for pancakes! A nice sweetener for all types of things. Just use however much you want - it's all about taste.
• Dates: Also a nice sweetener. I have pre-chopped dates. I soaked them with the cashews and fruit. I’m lazy. I think I used a total of a 1/2 a cup between the filling and crust.
• Coconut oil: ‘cause it was calling to me.And is delicious.

What You Do
Soak the cashews and dates. Optional, thaw your fruit.

Take you walnuts – about a cup – maple syrup and some dates and pulse it in your food processor until it makes a type of dough. Taste it. Add whatever you want to the crush. Ground flax seed, vanilla extract – whatever. Bacon. This is your crust, it should press easily into whatever vessel will house your berry cake. You can see what mine looked like.

Pretty people have spring-loaded pans (is that a real thing?) I have these ramekins (is that what they are
called?) I bought years ago and never used because it was the person I wanted to be, not who I am. I put them on a baking sheet so I could transport then easily into my fridge - which is coming up later. I opted for just having the bottoms with the nut crust. Because. .that's how much nut crust I had.

Rinse out your processor. Or not. Maybe just scrape out everything.

Put in the drained cashews and fruit of your choice and blend like the wind! BLEND BLEND BLEND!!! It will probably be a sort of thick mess. Probably a blueish color if you used blueberries in there. Optional, to make it layered, you can make one batch with less fruit for a lighter color and then layer the two colors.

This picture is the blended filling next to the bowl I soaked the fruit, dates and cashews into. Since I used my hands, my hands were red and it looked like blood. The blood of the fruit! AHHH!

I’m not running for food champion of the world.

Put this into your vessel. Top with some berries to make it look rustic rather than crappy – or like some maple syrup drops and refrigerate for a while. Maybe an hour? Maybe overnight.

Take out and enjoy some fruit and nuts the way God intended. Raw. Chilled.

Special Level of Awkward

My special level of awkwardness is never exaggerated. I also do not rock at any sort of team building.

Proof now exists!