Things I Eat: Summer Rolls

Got it? I made summer rolls. And without the meat. And I don't know what Nước chấm is. I also can't say what a summer roll is because it looks like this: Gỏi cuốn. I called them "Glen Coco" and that's wrong.

This is not REALLY my idea in anyway. Obviously this type of food assembly has been around for a really long time. At least since 1980, right? It's a really good raw vegan type food so it's super easy and great for lazy people. Like me.

I also find it kind of fun. If you like the "make your own" idea for food, you can set up a little summer roll station with tons of fixin's and have your friends, family, crashers, house guest or your own personal pure gluttonous self belly on up and make some magic.

With that said, this is how I did up my rolls.

What You Need

• Avocado: Cado is my motto! (that makes no sense, why did I write that?)
• Red peppers: The sweetest of all peppers.
• Scallions: Just the green top part. Scallions are great – why don’t I always eat them?
• Parsnips: The white carrot. Ancient favor vehicle! 
• Spinach: I nom-a-nate this green. (That was funny!).
• Basil oil: Maybe I drink it, you don't know. Basil if fun, fresh and not just for Italian things.
• Garlic oil: Too lazy to get garlic powder from just out of arms reach. . .totally able to reach the garlic oil.
• Rice wrapping paper roll stuff: I don't know what the world calls it, I say rice paper.

What you could do:

• Any veggie.
• Any meat.
• Any seafood.
• Any seasoning.

BONUS! Dipping sauces? Yeah. You can do that.

The Rice Paper Situation
Let's chat a moment about that rice paper wrapping stuff. I sent my beloved husband to get me these without knowing where they might be. Ended up Whole Foods was a good choice. He got me brown rice wrappers which I didn't know existed - they are the Happy Pho Vietnamese Brown Rice Spring Roll Wrappers. I don’t know who Pho is, but, I want whatever rice wraps makes Pho happy.

The rice wrappers are very stiff and annoying and mine were mostly broken before I opened the package. Sure, they look like tortillas, but, you gotta be careful, man! Anyhow, once you get them out of the package, you submerge them in water for a bit and as they absorb the water, they soften a lot until they are like. . mm. . heavy. . .plastic? That sounds bad. Just, they get very pliable.

I was lucky enough that a friend of mine made a friend with a first generation Vietnamese girl who made summer rolls for me once - with pork belly. I never had this stuff before. It was fantastic. And I watched her do it. She was skilled. I am not.

Anyhow, whatever size you get you want to make sure you can submerge it in water. I used a pie plate.

You put the rice paper into water right before you make the roll. So, just set this up first, maybe. You got a lot of chopping to do. Yays!

What You Do
Chop, chop, chop! If you don't like chopping, I guess you can buy pre-chopped stuff. Or you can get good at chopping.

I chopped up the red peppers into strips and the scallions were beheaded and then I cut the greens into thin strips. I did cut my finger, sorta. I have a gel manicure going on right now and it totally saved my nail. Awesome! I also chopped up the spinach a bit. If you are using lettuces, make sure you remove any spines or stems else it might tear the rice paper.

For the parsnips, I used my veggie peeler to make ribbons of it. Parsnips absorb flavor - not unlike raw sweet potato - so I dosed it in basil oil and garlic oil. I wanted it to be the vehicle of basil and garlic. I mixed that all up and let it sit.

And, yes, my nail did completely recover from the Parsnip Snip of 2014.

For the avocado I mashed it up. I ended up using my Cuisinart Hand Blender because they were not quite ripe enough for me to mash. And I'm an American. I used a little basil oil to soften it up, too.

Good to go, I soaked my rice paper until it started to get more pliable. I'm not good with wraps of ANY kind so I Googled how to actually assemble a burrito type thing. I also read the How to Wrap Rice Paper Rolls.

Then I was like ****-it.

I did a good scoop of the 'cado.

Then I threw in everything else. Now, the "experts" and "Internet" will tell you not to "over stuff" your wrap. This is a good illustration of how to totally over stuff your wrap. This is NOT considering the amount of food that bypassed the wrap and went straight into my mouth.

I would have taken pictures of the assembly, but, I'm sure you can imagine. . .

This was the outcome!

I gotta be honest, I am use of seeing white rice paper. I also really don't do a good job at presentation. I do think if you are one of those "I've never starved before" people, you might be turned off by the brown rice wraps. I would use the white ones for people who are finicky.

If you Google stuff on these types of summer rolls, you'll see better examples.

Like from The Food Network

Or this from What's Cooking America

No worries! Into my mouth it went! And it was fantastic!

My charming husband only had one because he had been at the gym and had a protein bar. I think protein bars are disgusting and his body would have totally preferred these fresh, delicious, slightly chilled health-bombs - but, whatever. More for me!

The Next Day!
(I made them the next night, because I had leftover wraps!)

In this case, I used a leafy green blend (spinach, kale, Brussels spouts) and some sun-dried tomatoes with Trader Joe's Garlic Herb Chicken Sausage from Trader Joe's. Little of my "over stuffing" technique changed. I did get a little more aggressive with the rice wrap - using less water and more aggression was a good step up.

I also didn't share any of these because my hubs was at the gym. . .

That's right, baby. Sausage salad in a rice wrap. I think I'm actually winning a life. Not photography. Just life.

Conclusions
So, anyhow. Yeah. Ditch the salad, man. Eat as many of these as you want. They are pretty easy to make and very customizable. You could make a little dipping sauce or just use soy sauce. How fantastic?!

Because you have layered fresh veggies, your mouth will not be tired - one bite you get leafy and crunchy, the next bite you get rice-y and mellow. Then you get a hit of basil, and then garlic. .and then a sweet kick of red peppers. It's good. IT'S GOOD.

I want some right now.

Remember when I wrote how my work had this lady come in and had a talk with us called "Strive for Five: How to Creatively Consume your Fruits and Veggies" (Things I Eat: Wonder Pot post) and one of the ideas was putting black beans into brownies and I. . like. .lost my ****.

EAT. THIS.

UPDATE:
I got a little better at this situation. I also tried out another brand of rice paper, Blue Dragon - the white rice paper was a little easier to work with, I think.

As you can see, I got better at my wrappings. Or I was just really hungry and they looked really good.

NOM NOM NOM! (I also did not share, again)