Makeup on my Faceup

I don’t wear a ton of makeup but I do enjoy playing around with it and I like getting foxed-out when I have a fancy place to go. Or on a weekend.

I look a lot different on the weekends then when at work - on both ends of that spectrum. Either really dumpy or really foxy.

Or. . .attempted foxy.

I recently decided I am not in love with the makeup routine I have and I wanted to try some different things. Often, I operate in a vacuum without any advice from anyone who keeps in step with makeup products or trends. A lot of time, retail people are not super-helpful, either.

When I see pictures of myself - I'm cool with not looking done up. There are a lot of of pictures of my naked face around. However, when I know I tried to use some makeup and look like I didn't even try - that's a problem.

I took of myself and I was horrified because I am wearing makeup and I look destoryed!

As a wise woman once told me - You know when you feel real crappy, you should try to dress up more to make yourself at least feel a little better on the outside.

So, I looked at what I currently use and why:

• ProActiv (original wash, toner & moisturizer): I have acne and bad skin, in general. This really helps and I have even been using the toner on my chest and back (skin, bad!) with great results. You can read my take on this wonderful product by reading my Try Proactiv post.
• Boots No7: I used an eye cream. It wasn't great. It was very watery and I didn't notice any difference. I often don’t use any eye cream or moisturizer because I have oily skin that takes care of itself AND nothing does anything. I think they are all lies. Yet, I feel better when I use one like a real adult. 
• Trader Joe's Nourish Antioxidant Facial Serum: I don’t know. It was $10 and I use it all over my face and it made my skin smooth. I actually used it with the No7 eye cream all over my face because the eye cream was so watery. Basically, I don't always use products correctly.
• NARS Smudge Proof Eyeshadow Base: I found primer is a remarkable thing! Everyone should use it. It keeps stuff on your face. I like this one because it is not tinted - it is also in a tube like a mascara tube so it fits into my little cup of stuff nicely.
• Stila Consealer: I have used their stuff for ages even though I am still pretty self-conscience about my dark eye circles. I guess feeling like I am doing something is better than doing nothing. It's very thick and sometimes I apply it with a moisturizer -  like the Boots stuff - to make it easier on my skin.
• L'Oreal Paris Infallible Eye Shadow (Bronzed taupe): I wanted to stick to darker, smokey type colors. I use to use the L'Oreal Paris HiP Studio Secrets Professional Metallic Shadow Duo line, but, I can’t find my colors anymore. I liked the two colors together in one little pack. Once I ran out of the lighter color, I just used the darker one on my whole eye and that’s why I just bought another, single dark shade. 
• Maybelline 'Great Lash' Mascara: It always been the one I use. I’m ok with it. Normally, I have it so long it runs out and I don’t notice. Good? No. It is a cult favorite.

That’s about it. Anyhow, I figured it’s time to maybe look into a tinted moisturizer since I’m getting older and something. .better. I don’t like my dark circles, I don’t like how my eye shadow fades or ends up under my eye. I feel like I lack eye definition and everything looks tired and dark.

Which is, incidentally, how I feel about life 95% of the time.

By the way, I put my makeup on almost solely by my hands. I know there are 5 billions brushes and reasons NOT to do this - probably so the beauty industry can make more money for the 500 brushes you need to purchase with the makeup you buy - but I do it with my hands. I think I only use a brush for gel eyeliner and blush (which I don't often use).

Yep. I'm hands on, baby.

New Makeup
I ended up going to Blue Mercury which I had never been to before to check out what they got. I am always nervous about asking the retail people for help.

Most of the time, they are selling a specific brand or item on commission or they don’t know anything about what works. Sometimes, they don’t even ask questions. I don’t know – I’m shopping for makeup because I’m self-conscience and I need some help, right?

The lady's there were so sweet and helpful. Sure, some stuff didn't work out but when I came back they helped me out and got me back on the right track. Excellent!

Concealer
First up. I need something for those dark circles. I felt bad being disloyal to Stila  . .but. . then again, not really. I figured I might as well be open to everything. That's a lie. I don't like to use powder - even to set things - but I do have some. I have used a little under my eye to help the concealer out. I'm not sure it makes any difference other than getting into my eyes at odd times.

They ended up giving me this Bobbi Brown concealer but instead of both of them, just the correcter, I think. It made me look like I had white paint under my eye. I returned it

During my return, they showed me Trish McEvoy Eye Base Essentials which was a lot smoother and creamery than the Stila stuff I was using. Sometimes, I feel the concealer pulling on my skin when I put it on.

Urg.

However, I found the Trish stuff was a super-awesome concealer for me and I do notice a difference. It won't do much for the eye bags of depression, but, it does good with the dark circles of fatigue.

There is a whole "triangle of light" you are suppose to use with this - some type of technique. . .but, I'm good with using my fingers to smear it on my dark spots.

Foundation
They suggested a tube of Clinique Stay-Matte Oil-Free Makeup.

I thought I would return it because I wanted a tinted moisturizer, not an actual foundation. I felt rage. I felt cheated.

OH THE HUMANITY!

But mixing it with my ProActiv moisturizer worked just fine!

I was amazed how well it blended and how it didn't look like I had anything on – yet, gave me some coverage. It didn't feel heavy or weird on my skin, which is why I generally avoid any foundations. I can tap a little extra under my eyes and on my face explosions.

Really impressed with how it blends. I do rub it all down my neck and under my jaw line, but, seriously, super easy and nice. While I apply this with my hands in a very unprofessional and face-rubbing way, I do have the proper brush and if I needed to be really fancy I would use it on the brush by itself and no moisturizer for extreme coverage.

God help the world when that day comes.

Eyeshadow

For a new eyeshadow – well, I ended up going on impulse and getting something that sounded cool from Wallgreens or CVS or something.

I had been looking at this tattoo stuff because tattoo is a cool word so I bought the Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo Eyeshadow. I have never, ever used a cream based eye shadow.

I am in love.

Deep, deep love.

Like, why didn't someone tell me about cream eye shadows before? It solves like 100% of my problems!

I don’t have to deal with the color dropping on my cheek or falling under my eye to enhance my dark circle. The color is also rich, so, I don’t have to layer and layer and layer to get a hint of color. It lasts all day and comes off pretty easily with my CVS makeup wipes.

I’m in love.

If Maybelline discontinues this line, I am going to take my heartbreak to Twitter.

I have the Gold Rush, Barely Branded (great highlight or by itself) Inked in Pink (which I wear a lot) and Bad to the Bronze (which I also wear almost everyday but more so than the pink).

The eyeshadow does blend well and you can use a powder shadow over it. I used the tattoo gold with my black powder eyeshadow once.

Mascara
Time for a new one! I ended up getting Maybelline Illegal Length Mascara which has fibers and stuff. I was worried about the fibers and about how fast it would dry. I have not seen a lot of fiber just flying around - or ended up on my cheeks.

I thought the Great Lash type dried the fastest around and I always had lines where my eyelashes touched my cheeks.

It gives my lashes a nice boost and I am really happy with it. I normally only use one coat of mascara for my everyday - I have tried a couple coats of this to see when it would be a problem and haven't come across any. I think this is a good find for me!

Eyeliner (Reboot!)

I stopped using eyeliner because of my dark circles – I felt it was more blackness that fell under my eyes.

YES I HAVE A COMPLEX.

I got back into using what I had – which is a nub of a pencil. I don’t know. It’s black and has a smugger at the end.

I started using my Infallible Lacquer Liner 24H gel eyeliner which isn't as hard to apply as one might think. It’s a little easier than a pencil. I use it on weekends and when I am feeling sassy. I like a good eyeliner, I said I couldn't love eyeliner anymore because of my face problems.

No more!

Lipstick
First, I always hated lipstick. I basically eat my lips (I believe it is scientifically called Morsicatio buccarum but it falls under the excoriation disorder spectrum but it generally an OCD thing).

Ok, I am in love with a bold, red lip right now. I mean, not at work. Just, in my personlz life. It doesn't stop me from biting my lips totally - it does make me think about not doing it. Then I have a nibble while I'm thinking about thinking about biting my lip or not biting my lip.

I wear Revlon Matte Lipstick, Really Red -  I think. Mine is in a red tube and I can't find that. And I'm took lazy to look for the tube.

For work, I ended up picking up a soft pink for my lips. Again, too lazy to go look at what it is. I'm sure it's Revlon.

The color is just a little something to balance out my face. I don't ever reapply, so, by the end of the day it's all gone - but that red lip is a favorite these days outside of work.

So, this is what I look like now when I am at work. The lighting isn't awesome but I think you can see I am wearing makeup - but not too much. I have on the pink shade of eye shadow which is soft and a little shimmery. I got a compliment on it, already!

Here is what I look like with my red lip and gold tattoo eye shadow!

Lesson Learned
It's not totally about vanity, though I do love vanity. It's about using your time and resources in the best way possible. When it came to my face, I just wasn't happy. This little adjustment - which was mostly experiments that did work out - really gave me a nice boost! I feel better, I feel like I'm not wasting my time or spinning my wheels.

Things I Eat: Re-Used Rice and Peppers

As you probably learned from my Healing and Recovering post, I am feeling really crappy and looking for delightful shortcuts that will restore my faith in the world.

I asked one of my friends who is a fantastic food-maker about the Gourmet Garden spice tubes and he said they were not a good thing to use at all.

They tasted horrible and he prefers his organic, home grown spices which live on an all vegan diet and listen only to Bach – and only organ music from 1714 and on due to the Italian influences. He told me about gently harvesting the plants in a way that respects Mother Nature’s gift and how only the sterile, hand-made German kitchen knives did justice to carefully cutting the spices in order to free the internal oils for maximum flavor infusion.

But, then I was like, "I’m f'ing lazy." And I purchased garlic and ginger in a tube. Then I threw out the rotting ginger in my fridge which I never got a handle on using on the daily.

UPDATE: If you don't do dairy, don't eat the spice tubes (other than ginger) they DO contain milk. Don't be like me, read labels! You can't trust anyone!

As a note - I did not throw out the Jello I made the first week I moved into my apartment. It’s about 7 years old and I call the Jello Karl (From the Eddic poem, "Rígsþula" in which the Norse god, Rig, fathers all the classes of mankind and Karl represents the middle-class freeman who normally own land and are pretty prosperous. I was going through an optimistic time, if you were wondering).

I'm still trying to use up all of my white sticky rice I bought from Whole Foods in the bulk section. I have so much and learned a delicious lesson in mastering the. .mm. .thingsy that control the amount of food that comes out of the bulk food bins.

Does it even have a name?

Lesson: I have toooo much rice!

Anyhow, I made myself some plain sticky rice the night before and didn't eat it all so I figured I would saute it up for a rice re-boot.

To make sticky rice, if you need to know:

• 2 cups white rice (also called "sticky" or "glutinous" or "sushi" rice)
• 2.5 cups water

Rinse the rice until the water runs clear. Unless you forget, then you will have really sticky rice. Then boil the rice covered for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, peak and see how it is doing - if you need to add more water or cook a little longer, do so. If not, turn off the heat, fluff it then let it sit, covered, for 10 more minutes. Done!

Maybe you have some left over Chinese take out rice? That works to! A lot of this recipe depends on how much stuff you have. You might have to eyeball what you have and adjust the flavors as you go. I had a lot of rice left over - I think I made 2.5 cups the nice before which was about 4 cups when cooked. I don't know how much I really ate. I'm not good at these things.

What You Need

• Rice: Any rice, you can even use brown rice or whatever. It don't matter I just spent all the time telling you about sticky rice, does it?
• 1 red bell pepper: Dice it! Maybe you have other peppers? Stick with the sweet ones for this dish - don't do a green pepper.
• Onion: I had a HUGE onion and I used part of it. Again, will depend on how much rice you have and all that. 
• Garlic: I used my Gourmet Garden spice tube that real cooks hate.
• Ginger: I used my Gourmet Garden again!
• Braggs Liquid Aminos: A dream - vegan, soy free, yeast free. It's good stuff. Use it like soy sauce but understand it is more salty than normal soy sauce. Use a little and taste, then add a little more if you need.
• Coconut oil: My favorite fat - also gives a nice sweet flavor.
• Brown sugar: Optional, and it will depend on how much rice you have. Go with, "too taste." I wanted a little something sweet for my irritability.
• Scallions: Optional, I had some that I threw in.

What You Do
For starters, chop up the onion and red pepper - true story, mine had a baby twin on the inside that I ate! I promise I will get better at taking pictures.

You don't have to be super about cutting up things. Just dice them up into bite sized chunks. Then throw them into your pan that has a coating of coconut oil. It should smell REALLY good. Yum.

Saute it as much as you want. I waited until the onions were sort of brownish. Not burnt - just one step beyond transparent. I threw in my chopped scallion here - that would be optional. You could use it for garnish, too.

Then I lowered the heat and added a handful of brown sugar because I wanted a little more punch of sweet. Then I added in the rice and a healthy squirt of my Liquid Aminos! You really do want to turn down the heat because the rice just needs to get warm, it doesn't need to cook again. I also squirted in a few inches of garlic and ginger. Then let everything get warm and blended.

I put it all in a bowl for myself and tasted it - I did add a little more sea salt and ginger and mixed it up real good.

Delicious! I totally ate it all. Which is good, because, I been haven't been eating much this week! The spice tubes are a freaking hit in my book. I will be getting more. Sure, it is basically pureed spices but they are so ready to go and easy. I don't need to buy 23 cloves of garlic and try to make them into a smooth paste - I can just buy this stuff and use it.

I'm using it in smoothies, too, by the way. Oh yes I am! Ginger is fun in a tube and in my belly.

Be Thy Medicine
What did this little meal do for me as part of my "food be thy medicine". . mm. .thing? Let looks at the largest parts of this meal:

• White rice: A super carbohydrate to give energy to my tired system. It also contains selenium which helps the thyroid gland regulate hormones. Let's chat about manganese - how perfect it helps your body use carbs, it's like white rice is meant to be in your tummy.Oh and it might turn you poop black. Just saying.
• Ginger: It aids in digestion, calms nausea and also helps inspire hunger. It improves the absorption and assimilation of essential nutrients in the body. It also helps calm inflammation.
• Garlic: It strengthens the immune system, it cleans out bad cholesterol, it gives a great punch of B6 and regulates blood sugar.
• Red peppers: Packed with vitamin C, E and B6 for excellence and beta-carotene, which lavish you with antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits.

It also helps if you eat it with someone who will sing to you. Like Josh Groban on PBS.

Cheers, my friends!

Healing & Recovering

I have been having one of the worst bouts of adrenal issues ever. Ever. I am going to document it here because I need to be a little more honest with all these things that happen and these things I deal with. I mean, I don't want to be too honest because who wants to hear someone's sob story? But, I do get a little hurt when people seem to go out of their way to point out how my apartment isn't clean or I'm not happy enough or I am not doing enough for them.

Or I'm irritable. I'm @#$%ing irritable. 

So, for this week, the pain has been crippling, I can't eat and I'm exhausted.

Oh, right, this is all due to 10 years undiagnosed Lyme disease, babesiosis and bartonella. I was in treatment for 5 years where I acquired a whole host of other issues from fungal infections to organ failure. All in all, having malfunctioning adrenals is a gift. You can check out more of my story by looking at my adrenal fatigue page.

So, what do you do while trying to recover?

Severe rest!

One of the hardest things is rest. Not because I'm busy but because it's physical, mental and emotion rest.

When your adrenals go, you can't balance your emotions. I was just an agitated, anxious mess and it was more draining than running a marathon (not that I ever have, but, I think that would be draining). I finally got my anxiety under control so I could find some peace.

Peace is, of course, impossible if your adrenals don't work right. It's chemically impossible. Adrenal fatigue is a couple steps into a mental breakdown.

Anxiety is no joke, my friend. And the worst is anxiety for no reason other than you bodily chemicals can't work correctly. As bad of a rap as the media gives cortisol, you do need it to live and it is responsible for thyroid function and homeostasis. 

A: I am on hydrocortisone, synthetic cortisol.
C: Careful with cortisol, it makes you fat.
A: Sounds like Dr. Oz is trying to sell more stuff on his show.

One of the biggest battles a lot of people face is actually resting enough. As soon as you start to feel better you want to go-go-go! Truth is, you got to keep resting past that point. The first upswing is just the first layer of healing and it's a tender layer over the wound. You need a little longer or you will hurt yourself easily.

I went to CVS to fill two more prescriptions - with my lover. Woot-woot! Big outting.

Now I need to stop thinking - and I'm always thinking.

If I could take a couple days off work, I would. I can't though, I need to save up my time for the wedding and moving and if something really, really bad happens. Besides, I don't look sick.

Focus on Something (Pretty)

I do my nails.

It takes time and focus and I can't do much with wet nails. It makes me sit around. It is highly girly, but, my nails are an easily cleaned canvas that I can spend time redecorating and trying out stuff. I think the only reason I am as good (and I use that word lightly) at doing my own nails is because of the amount of time I have forced myself to focus on doing them.

Because my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) comes out a lot more with my fatigue and anxiety, I find I can epically focus on my nails and perfecting the brush stroke or color combos or anything and it stops me from washing my hands or spotting contaminates or needing to move around furniture.

At the end, it does feel like a little treat when I look and feel like crap. I can go, oh, look, pretty nails.

Then remove all the polish because one of them was wrong at the edge and I need to redo them all. . . 

This week, I purchased Essie's Imported Bubbly which I used over LadyLike (thought my LadyLike is a mauve like color, not like on the site)

Worry About the Future

I spend a lot of time worrying about what the future will hold. Some of these feelings I think are totally rational, but, others are anxiety-laced and then I start actually raising my heart rate which taxes my body and I'm back into running a marathon rather than resting.

Common worries - When will I end up on medication forever? When will I get full-blown  Addison's Disease? When will the next bout hit? What am I putting my future husband through? What if something else is wrong? What if this doesn't stop? What if I need to go to the ER? How can I explain this to someone? How can I explain this at work? What if people don't believe me? What if I need help? What if I should be doing something else? What if it's all in my head? What if it's not in my head? What if I can't fake it? What am I going to do when someone makes fun of me? Who am I going to hurt next? Should I look up things? What if someone has a question I can't answer? Am I suppose to tell people I have this chronic illness? What if I never have another bout and everyone thinks I am faking? What if all the good days are behind me? Should I find another doctor? How do I know if I am getting better?

Learn from the Master

Lucky the Cat is basically the best teacher of relaxing. It's nice to have some animal company. I always had a bond with animals and he is my little buddy and companion whenever I am home.

Animal have a way of teaching us what is important. Wait, that's pretty canned.

Animals have a way of being so darn cute!

They also give me something to focus on beside being sick. Since Lucky doesn't need much, he gives me something to take care of so I don't feel like a total waste of space during these times and gives me a lot of affection.

Since I am cold a lot, he keeps my toes nice and toasty.

Get a Heating Pad
It doesn't work all the time for everything but this pad works great on relaxing and easing the pain of my

adrenals.

I won't say this takes all the pain away, but, when you are in crippling pain, even a little change can make a big difference in your attitude and your outlook.

It also helps keep me warm - even though it is August. I am not sure why it happens, but, I get freezing cold when my adrenals don't work right. When I start to get too cold, it actually wake up my neuropathy.

One of the creepiest thing is when my toes spasm out of control. It's creepy.

Sometimes, when the pain is really bad, I start to panic thinking something else is wrong and I am not sure if I should go to the hospital or something. Once, I was tempted to go to the Urgent Care Clinic that just opened, but, then I remembered, most people don't think I have any sickness and if they don't, it would be a lot of wasted energy for them to tell me I just want attention or that there is nothing they can do. 

I mistrust doctors. I love heating pads.

Eat Good Food
Food be thy medicine!

While eating has been tricky - I lost a solid 5lbs the past few day between thyroid issues and physical ones - I make sure to load up on whole, healthy foods.

Did I mention the relationship between the adrenals and thyroid? Oh yeah...

Rice is easy on me, so, I made some with peppers. Rice is not the most nutritionally dense food, but, it is something that is good. I got some chicken in me the other night with rice - and during the week, I have be adding some Vega One to my smoothies - you can read my first impressions in my Things I Eat: Vega Nutritional Shake 

When sick, it's key to fuel up right and not with junk food. For me, I increase my salt intake because adrenal issues normally come with an inability to retain salt. Because of the general imbalance of hormones, insulin levels and all that, I have also been drinking a lot of water. Like. .a LOT of water. Probably over two gallons a day.

Being that I don't normally drink that much, it's a lot. Is that even normal?

Sure, drinking a lot of water is good, but, when water comes out of you, it does take a lot of other stuff with it. You don't want to be washing your body out of salts and other things it needs. It can kill you or cause damage. Even athletes who sweat and drink a lot know to replenish with sugars and salts. 

I also make sure I have a nice dining companion. Like Josh Groban who has been serenading me.

Last Thoughts

One day, one step at a time!

And throwing it all on the table. BOOM. This is what my life is like right now.

I am working really hard on being honest with my situation and letting people know I am actually pretty sick even if I look normal. I normally don't have a problem saying  "no" to people and all that - but I do have a problem being honest about why I don't do things.

Deep down, this is an issue that deeply affects me and those around me. I was sick with many blood-borne illness and organ issues and other related injuries for 15 years. It's big. It's a part of me. As much as I try to force it away, it is with me and to deny it happened to make other people feel ok in social situations - and maybe even including myself - cripples me in the long run. 

Here's to another day closer to normal. 

Things I Eat: Vega Nutritional Shake

Sad Blog Face

I have been having some trouble eating lately because I’m in a lot of physical pain, I’m freezing cold, my rib cage is on fire, my back hurts so much I lay on the floor for relief and I am so fatigued I can’t think straight or walk down the hall without panting – I am also nauseous at my mouth tastes like blood. Well, I have a metallic taste in my mouth, as the professional say, to me it I have a taste of blood. I have been drinking a lot of water, too, which makes me feel full a lot.

But enough about my awesome life with malfunction adrenals!

I picked up two single serve packets of Vega Nutritional Shake at Whole Foods during a few hours of lucidity this week and I was sort of pumped to try them. While I have been sort of grazing at salads and some chicken, I want to get some more nutrition into myself and I know my normal smoothie of berries and spinach is not going to cut it.

I make great smoothies, but, I make them knowing I will be eating again. Since I am not sure and it’s going to be a couple weeks of life like this, I figured I better find ways to get more good stuff into me. Or decently good stuff.

I generally am against these types of products, I think you should eat the actual food and not over-processed powders that attempt to replace actual food. Eat food, people.I think a lot of these "meal replacements" or "shakes" are a little bit of crap. They advertise being weight loss solutions and being jacked with protein – but, really? If you ate normal food you’d probably be a lot better off.

I'm not talking about stuff like Soylent which is a food replacement product powder you re-hydrate to replace ALL of your eating. I think Soylent is a great thing, actually because it can easily be transported to those who don’t have food.

I'm also not talking about Ensure which is a good booster if you are going through medical treatments or something. I use to drink Ensure. I can't drink it now because it has diary in it (I'm assuming) and the mere thought of those cans makes me feel sick.

Just sayin’

Why Vega

It was there. A single serving of Vega Nutritional Shake French Vanilla. Sloth is my favorite sin. Sometimes motivation in life is pretty darn basic.

You can purchase this produce in jars and buckets and stuff. I'm not ready for that type of commitment. I just got two packets.

I do have a truck-load of pyramid-scheme loving friends who have been advertising Shakeology, Isagenix. . and then the normal Pampered Chef or nail polish something or other. .Tupperwear.

OMG, people, I won’t go to your party! Ever. And I'm not buying that crap.

Anyhow, I picked Vega because it’s vegan and I could purchase a sample right there in the store. The product states:

Formulated by Brendan Brazier, professional Ironman triathlete and bestselling author on performance nutrition, Vega One Nutritional Shake is free from dairy, gluten and soy, and contains no added sugar, artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners.

I don’t know who Brendan Brazier is. I thought he might be a chemist, but, he’s not. I bet he got help creating this.

I’m in blinding pain and exhausted but I did look up Shakeology (which claims it's the "The Healthiest Meal Replacement Shake") for a general comparison and saw it contains milk. Yes, Shakeology sellers, I did see they had a Chocolate Vegan – but I don’t like chocolate. I didn't really look into the other stuff because I have to order it or drive around to another store. I don’t have that kind of energy.

Or care.

So, I picked up the Vega "Natural" and the "French Vanilla" flavors. Both have vanilla in it. I don’t know what that means. The powder was green. I also don’t know what that means.

Nutrition
My first concern is always, always, always if the product contains something I can’t have. This produce probably has some wheat in it. But, probably not enough to make much of a difference to me. I did check to see if “beans” were in it and I couldn't identify anything that was bean-y.

According to the fancy-pants myvega.com site, each flavor pouch or serving contains:

• The protein of 2.7 eggs.
• The probiotics of 1 cup of yogurt.
• The omega-3s of 2.3 servings of salmon.
• The fiber of 3.2 slices of bread.
• The greens of 3 servings of vegetables (they have a picture of broccoli).
• The antioxidants of 2.7 cups of blueberries.

(On the French Vanilla packaging it has 15g protein or something highlighted in blue. However, each pouch contains the same nutrition so it's just marketing. I think the only amount that changes between my two selections is the sugar - French Vanilla has more than the Natural. Always check the back of stuff, people.)

What I actually liked about this is, if you think about it, you could eat this all in the course of a day. Sure, it doesn't contain all the calories and benefits of the whole food but you could eat this in a day. I think that’s a lot of where I come from when it comes to nutrition. I don’t drink juice because I normally wouldn't eat 5 oranges in a sitting or 10 apples. I have a juicer and like two apples made enough juice for me.

Anyhow, this seems to be about the same as:

• Breakfast: Veggie omelet with a cup of yogurt and toast 
• Snack: Blueberries for a snack
• Lunch: Salmon with some veggies
• Dinner: Veggie pasta

As I stated, this isn't a whole day meal replacement and, of course, it doesn't contain all the nutrition you would get from eating all that food throughout the day.

However, for me, needing some extra help at getting nutrition, I really don’t feel too bad about adding this green powder to my smoothie.

Taste
Taste is so retaliative - so I will do my best to be honest.

I first tried the French Vanilla and my eyeball did close for a while and I was stuck in the "icky-baby-face" pose for a little while.

I’m not use to drinking sweet vanilla type things, so, that was a little rough. But, I don’t think it’s bad by any stretch – I am just not use to having something like this. I watered it down a little more to dilute the flavor and that helped me. I probably didn't use enough water, in retrospect.

I can’t speak much of aftertaste. Tasted like blood. Oh wait. My mouth just tastes like blood all the time. Yummy, yummy vampire jam.

For comparison, it tasted not unlike a French Vanilla Ensure drink. Maybe a little gritty but not to some shocking level. I did mix it with my normal blend of a about a cup or two of spinach and about a cup of frozen berries and I couldn't taste anything but the French Vanilla. It knocks out taste, that’s for sure.

The Natural flavor was more my speed. Granted, I used about half a pouch but it has a mild vanilla. . .maybe like pancake batter. . .flat taste. The taste of my smoothie came through a little better with this one so less shocking.

I would think most people would like the chocolate but nothing stops you from putting a couple scoops of cocoa powder in this shake.

I normally dislike berry flavored things because I eat a lot of real berries. I don’t know if I want to try it.

Tummy Thoughts
This felt super filling to me.

SUPER FILLING.

After an hour, I was totally full and I still had a good amount

to go. Probably a little less than half of my original jar full. This might be because I'm not hungry and my core is full of pain-demons, but, normally I can throw back my smoothie in a few minutes. Sometimes I sip it or if I don't have time, I down it.

PS: I also love this Ball Jar. It doesn't leak like all those plastic containers I was using. I can’t wait until I drop it and it shatters into thousands of green-laced shards. . .but, I digress.

I don’t feel any worse in the tummy zone. I was drinking it slowly just to be sure, as well as just not wanting to eat anything. All I really notice is it is very sweet and the vanilla flavor it has probably doesn't exist in nature and I feel pretty full.

Final Thoughts
If you are looking for a shake – I would first work on just changing your natural food choices to be better nutritional choices and give that a couple weeks. Everyone wants something that is instant. Just eat things that are close to the earth first.

If you need a little boost or you don’t think you are getting enough good stuff in you – I think this is a reasonable option. If you are vegetarian or vegan or, like me, eat a lot of roughage, the flavor of these things can be a little shocking to the taste. If you are using this for a breakfast or lunch replacement and you normally eat processed stuff, it might be an easier transition. If you hate-hate-hate the taste of the good stuff you would want to put in a smoothie, you could use one of the flavors to mask it, I bet. Or you could just put in extracts of your favorite flavors like mint or vanilla or even a scoop or two of cocoa powder.

I’m hoping this provides a little boost of the good stuff while I lack the desire to eat the good stuff. I miss being feisty.

Texts With Melissa: Attention Calls

It's time, once again, for Texts With Melissa!

A lot of people wonder how I can maintain a relationship with someone who is pretty fashionable and together.

Let's check up on how our friendship is doing!

And if you are like me, you'll analyse this simple situation and draw conclusions like these -

And that is how we do!

Things I Eat: Now That's a Salad

What up food-citizens?

Check out this super-easy, mostly raw-vegan dinner that is beyond delicious!

You: Whoa, that’s a lot of vegetables. I don’t think that can be good. I had veggies once and they were bad.
Amanda: You have no idea – I’ll take you on a flavor adventure!

 Plus, you can eat as much as you want which is how good food should be. Let's review the ingredients!

Ingredients

• Rice Noodles: Boil up some rice noodles – I like the fettuccine noodles – especially if I am using chopsticks. Different types of noodles have actually been engineered for different reasons (Check out the Pasta Dictionary for more info). Rice noodles are like $1-$2 a pack at Trader Joe’s, by the way. Rice noodles are a great backdrop, hard to mess up and don’t have as nutty of a flavor as wheat noodles. Since I avoid wheat.
• Broccoli: Broc is earthy and full of textures that can easily be modified by cutting it in different ways. Raw broccoli can be bitter and intense where steamed broccoli is mellow and smooth. Most people know mushy, weird broccoli and hate it. I’m totally ok thawing out some broc and being done with it, but, if you need some magic – preheat your oven to 425, lay your boc on a cooking sheet (put some tin foil on there so you don’t have to clean anything), toss with olive oil, salt and pepper and roast in the oven 20-25 minutes, until some part are brown and caramelized in deliciousness.
• Sweet potatoes: Sweet, crunchy and absorbent of flavors with no aftertaste, it will support anything you do and goes excellently with savory! If you have a sweet tooth, this addition is like “what awesome just happened to my life?!” when consumed – Just go to town on it with your veggie peeler and get some nice thin strips all up in your bowl. YES, you eat this raw. It's ok. Trust me.
• Sun dried tomatoes: Ever lick tomato paste? Yeah, sweet, acidly strips of sun dried tomatoes are bursts of intense flavor. I keep a jar and/or bag in my fridge and toss them into whatever. Since you won’t taste them in every bite, they add a lot of taste-bud interest. 
• Toasted sesame seeds: Not just for take out! Trust me, these little seeds-of-the-gods add a nutty flavor and light texture to any dish (Also high in mineral content and calcium and containing two proteins that are not normally found in other vegetable proteins, my sassy sweet meat-haters).

What You Do

Next, let’s chat FLAVOR! First, I enjoy making different combinations in my bowl - maybe taking a little

more of one thing over another thing. With these simple ingredients – you have 5 foods so you could have like 31 unique combination possibilities for your mouth and soul.

Most people would dump some type of cream sauce, cheese or whatever on this and call it a day. What do you mean salad dressing? Anything to mask the purity of these items.They are the worst!

You can get rich flavors using touches of totally simple things! I'm not going to tell you what to do, you got to try all this out yourself because food should be personal. Here is what you need:

• Flavored oil: Flavored oil is fantastic and a little drizzle will do you up real good – it is absorbed into foods, can carry flavor and gives you a kick of fats that your body craves! Get yourself some flavored oils and get your mind blown! Basil oil? Olive oil? Red pepper oil? Garlic oil? I don't know you, you do your thing. If you are like “I’m not going to get flavored oils, ever” just use olive oil and some garlic powder or basil flakes. It’ll do – but won’t be as awesome as the flavor from an infused oil.
• Soy Sauce: If you are sticking with an Asian palette, this will deliver you that kick you want. You could use Sriracha, too.
• Salt: Be careful of if you are using soy sauce - if not sprinkle on a little sea salt – or some Iodized table salt because you DO need some iodine in your diet if you are like me and use sea salt for almost anything. Table salt is good for you.

What I Did

I have a garlic infused grapeseed oil that is the best ever. I drizzle a little garlic oil over my mixture, and add a little olive oil – the garlic is for flavor but it can be intense so a little olive oil helps move it around.

Let’s chat about soy sauce and how much over processed, over salted soy sucks.

Glad we agree!

I use Bragg's Liquid Amino which is a liquid protein concentrate that contains 16 amino acids – the mofo building blocks of LIFE – but tastes just like junky soy sauce. Make good choices, people. Give a couple squirts of that on there and mix it up. Give everything a moment to get all acquainted with everything, then get your favorite part of chopsticks and dig in!   

You: Wait, did you just dump some veggies into a bowl with noodles and add some like soy sauce and oil?
Amanda: You better believe it.
You: So, this took you about the same amount of time to boil water?
Amanda: Yeppers – about 25 minutes, let’s say, if you roasted the broc.
You: And, you have like one pasta pot and a cookie sheet to clean up? Plus a bowl?
Amanda: Sloth is my favorite. Sometimes I use noodles I made the day before.
You: This doesn't seem glamorous at all – not like on the Food Network where people with very white teeth talk about how great they are at making a mess.
Amanda: This ain't Hollywood snob food – this is sweatpant and sloth good eatin’!

Image Credit:
Oils from olioandolive.com

Things I Eat

Well, I'm going to do a series - every Friday it'll pop up and it will be called Things I Eat and it will start August 1, 2014! This series will, hopefully, show how it is possible to live a full life with a highly restricted diet - along with peppering of my own thoughts toward nutrition and food-choices.

Why? Because I can't eat most of the things that God has provide us. To review - I cannot consume the following foods without horrible consequences*

• Dairy - milk, cheese, casein, etc
• Egg - yoke, whites, Egg Beaters
• Beans - hummas, veggie burgers
• Canola - from the rapeseed plant, basically anything fried
• Wheat - whole grain, bread, etc
• Yeast - wine, beer, all condiments, anything fermented
• Soy - tofu, tempeh,textured vegetable protein

*consequences are not anaphylactic shock, just a total destruction of my entire digestive tract

Exciting.

My Life

I will post a picture of a steak!

I live in a world where I go to what normal people would considered a nice, relaxing dinner and I'll be in horrific fear they will have some ingredient in my food that will cause a massive issue in my body.

Trust? Sure, I can tell them all the items I can't have but if they are wrong or make a mistake . . .it could be months of pain for me.

What type of pain? My issues include the normal things like diarrhea and constipation. One or both of these can lead to the sexy hemorrhoids which 1/3 people have at any given time and suck.

Then there is the crippling pain stomach pain, acid reflux, crippling lower intestine pain, gallbladder swelling, crippling lower intestine  pain, massive bloating, gas, vomiting, inability to operate - oh, and this triggers my adrenals to react to the stress of detail with a toxin substance in my body and fail which led to fatigue, insomnia, mood swings, closing throat, thyroid crashes. . .

What I Eat

The bulk of my diet involves drinking smoothies. I have one as my main meal about five days a week. Maybe people think I do this because I am forcing myself to be healthy. I actually truly enjoy my smoothies and my NutriBullet which offers me the ability to consume a large amount of foods without fear.

I do not eat a lot of packaged food. I do try to find them, but, other than Herr's Potato Chips and packaged nuts, I avoid packaged foods. I don't know what Sodium caseinate is. . .so. . .why take a chance? (It's a milk by-product, by the way)

Because of my restrictions, I have been forced out of the mythical "comfort zone" of food. I eat as many different foods as possible and I am always willing to try something new or to try to alter a recipe.

Alter - eh? Well, I have to alter most if I want to eat them. I take the Alton Brown approach, I figure out the role the ingredient plays in the food and then try to find out if it is needed or how to substitute it.

I am also very, very, very lazy. I think food should taste good, be easy and/or fun to make, be healthy and not cause me medical harm.

Trust
Sure, I totally trust people making food for me. I also trust eating with people - because there is nothing like having a nice meal and having every bite scrutinized by those you are sitting with. Here are some comments:

M: I got this Greek yogurt ranch rather than buttermilk so you can have it.
A: I can't have dairy.
M: It's not dairy.
A: Where do you think yogurt comes from?

D: Wine doesn't have yeast in it.
A: How do you think it ferments?
D: There's no yeast in it.

W: We have hot dogs, hamburgers and you can have a black bean veggie burger.
A: I can't have beans.
W: I thought you liked veggies . . .

J: What is that?!
A: A smoothie. It looks weird because of the blueberry in it.
J: That's disgusting.

Coping
I tell a lot of people who try to understand my dietary needs I'm vegan. But, being vegan means cutting out the whole meat thing which I can eat - which is meat. However, saying "vegan" means they will most likely produce a salad of glorious greens and not serve me anything with eggs or dairy.

The problem with the "vegan disguise" is I also can't eat beans and soy. A lot of staples in a meat-less life include heavy amounts of all types of beans and processed soy.

Conclusion
So, me eating is an adventure! And I am going to document it all dramatically with what exactly I do eat. 'Cause I do eat. I do. Really. I eat. I eat good. I eat good food.

A lot.

Sometimes.

I'm normal!!!

Special Edition: Whine and Wine

I'm really not good at opening things.

The bad news is I can't get the cork out. The good news is that the bottle is open.

What's Eating You?

I'd like to think I am part of some type of solution - I think the closer you are to a problem, the more you only see it. Sometimes, it's all coincidence.

If you, or someone you know, seems to be struggling with an eating disorder - contact National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA).

NEDA is the leading non-profit organization in the United States advocating on behalf of and supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders. Reaching millions every year, NEDA campaigns for prevention, improved access to quality treatment, and increased research funding to better understand and treat eating disorders. NEDA works with partners and volunteers to develop programs and tools to help everyone who seeks assistance.

Do Something With My Hair

Memories

I have sort of long hair now. Normally, I would have chopped it off by now and donated to Locks of Love but since I am getting married in October, I didn't think I would have enough to make me pretty.

You can check out my thoughts on my previous donations from my Donate to Locks for Love post.

So, I have a lot of hair and without having air conditioning in my place - or very pathetic cooling systems, getting this hair-monster off my neck and back is great.

I also sometimes get negative comments about the "free" nature of my hair. I mean, I don't know how to dress it up - however, there should be enough of it there to do something. Meanwhile, it's half wave, half curl and all frizz. Even after I assault it with the straightening iron.

Friend: You should do something with your hair.
Me: I did.
Friend: . . .oh. I mean. It looks great.

Research
The Internet is full of "quick," "simple," "beautiful," "amazing" ideas - some that don't involve porn or major skills. Keep in mind, I really don't have a lot of skills. But, that doesn't really stop me from trying out stuff.

Like, the waterfall braid. That was a fail. I can braid - I learned when I rode horses because we had to braid their manes. Maybe my Mom showed me once, but, I was not into it.

But, I digress.

The first issue, everyone has hair products and hair items and nice straight hair. What I found was most of these "simple chic" hair styles involved a lot of hairspray (still haven't figured it out) and hair gel, finishing spray and maybe a curling iron and some other tool.

Seriously - here are instructions on one of these hairstyles:

How to: Spritz a volume booster into your damp hair, like Chi Volume Booster, $14. Create a deep side part and tie your hair into a ponytail at the crown. Take random strands of hair and apply a little Redken Velvet Gelatine 07, $17.50, before setting your hair with a medium barrel iron to create the curls, says Kris Sorbie, Education Artistic Director of Redken 5th Avenue. When the curls have cooled, rake your fingers through them to break them up and randomly pin the curls into a messy bun. Tie a pretty scarf around your head to complete the look. (From Scarf-tied updo)

Sure, ponytail twist by Joanna Goddard, with your little flowers and easy-breezy hair and lifestyle blog with great pictures - sure. . .I'm far to low on the chain of feminine skills to pull this simple thing off. Why? Hair pins. .everywhere. In my cerebellum and probably all over my kitchen floor. And in my bed, I always miss a few in there and find them days later.

Let's not even talk about the Tie and Tease by the Beauty Department. First, really. .straight hair again?

Plus, I don't tease or tie things. I always figured teasing on a daily bases would ruin your hair. I don't need that. Although, I do envy those girls who have this sweet, effortless hair.

In about five seconds, my hair would be looking for its next victim. . .

Pork chop bone? Toddler?

Hey, you going to eat that toddler? Hey, come here kid.

*screams*

What I Did
I decided to go for the ultimate titled hair Scarf Updo because it seemed to hit on all the stuff I was into. I might point out I did try this a while ago but I did not use pins. I also tried used a scarf which was slippery. Oh, and I have no skills. When I did it, I thought my hair was falling out from the design at an alarming rate but I could shove it back in.

The feedback I got was:

Friend: What are you doing with your hair?
Me: Oh, I have it up.
Friend: Really? That looks bad. You normally look more put together.

In my ONLY defense, I did have a hulking set of headphones on most of the day and I was doing voiceover stuff. I ripped those things off my head a few times in unrelenting reading rage. . .

(There is a lot of rage in this post for some reason)

Anyhow, since I fail at most things, I figured I might as well keep trying and even if I ended up with something I would never want to be seen in public with, at least I have something to do while watching TV and my hair is out of my way if I am cleaning. Once it gets to a certain length, the ponytail does nothing.

Nothing!

Here is how to do the scarf updo:

1. Get a headband - perhaps something with some traction on hair - I used a Goody Slide Proof Headwrap which has these silicone dots to grab hair without pulling. 
2. Put the headband on your head like you're a hippy - this keeps the back part up on the back of your head. You can probably adjust this to where ever you want your bunch of hair to rest. I found the "hippie" method works for me. The Scarf Updo by Cristophe doesn't do it this way.
3. Divide your hair into two sections or at least know you have two sections. This keeps stuff more neat back there 'cause you can't see anything. 
4. Take about an inch tendril of hair and loop it up and into the band. Don't do it the other way. That's a mess. Wrap it around once and then pick up some more hair and wrap around again.
5. Once you get to the end of the one side - pin the hell out of that end piece. 
6. Repeat on the other side. If you are like me, you get super-impatient and one side looks "better" than the other but you can really do whatever and it looks good. Looks good messy, is the point.
7. Stab at will with hairpins. Seriously. At will.
8. Optional: You could do a couple tendrils into brains before wrapping and get some other funk in there.  

I was actually pretty pleased with my later attempts - practice does make improvement! And I would totally wear this to work if I didn't work in a missing link to the arctic. I totally would love to find some other scarfs or headbands to decorate this up.

Small victory!

Email: When Wrong Goes Right

I received an e-fax! It was for a credit reference between two companies.

Sure, who doesn't get a wrong number or have something sent that was meant for someone else? I think as part of our jobs as humans is to look out for each other. Really - wouldn't you want someone looking out for you? So, I did what I could:

The text of the email is:

Hello Parts Express and British Audio Services, 

I think you two should talk – like a little B2B action. I am really happy I could get you two together – honestly. I tried before, but, I have a good feeling this time. 

I have been getting the notices from Parts Express that I need to fill out a credit reference for British Audio Services. I’m pretty sure this is because someone fat-fingered a number somewhere. It’s ok – we can all still make magic work here before it is too late!

• Parts Express: I want to connect YOU to your customers because business makes the world turn. I mean, I can tell Penny is a hard worker by the fearless way she penned “2nd request” but I can see there is some hesitation by that lowercase “e” – sure, she got her message across – or did she? Penny – you can BE A HERO by talking with British Audio Services and getting this whole thing fixed! Their number is  (615) 891-1788 and they are (probably a little hungover in the morning) open until 10a-6pm M-F and 10-5p on Saturday. Just subtract an hour from that, you guys aren’t in the same time-zone. Oh, and they rest on the lords day. 
• British Audio Services: You rock it, I know you do. Any company in TN with “British” in their name will walk into party with sock AND loafers and say, “What of it? I’m here to party.” If I ever go to TN, I will think about stopping by and making friends so I could fill out this credit reference for you. In the meantime, I think you have an order pending with Parts Express. Trust me, it won’t be that express if you don’t get this done, right? How about you give my friend Penny a call at Parts Express and get this whole caboodle fixed up? Just ring her at 937-743-3000. They are all being express over there from 8a-6p M-F and are a little hungover on Saturday with 9a-5p hours on Saturday. Just add an hour to that and you will be A-ok!

Ok – we all got our instructions? Annnnnnnd. . . .don’t let me die in your spam filter. . .GO!

I totally thought I would end up in someone's spam filter or at the very least, get another notice about this mysterious credit reference - I did not! What a delightful success!

Here is the text of the email:

Hello Amanda.  A copy of your email below came to the Customer Service team today and we have since forwarded it to Penny who will get this “caboodle fixed up” right away.  Wow, thank you for getting involved!   

I just have to tell you much my team and I enjoyed your email.  We are still laughing after numerous reads! Your sense of humor wowed us and we all said “We love this gal!” The world needs more people like you!  Going forward, feel free to copy us on all your funny correspondence.  LOL       

And, if you are ever in southern Ohio, please stop by and make friends with 

How nice! I also got a response from the other company - go accurate spam filters:

Here is the text:

Dear Amanda,  

You've really got me laughing, thank you... And, my apologies for any inconveniences this may have caused you.  

You're obviously a real talent with a great sense of humor.  Your writing is extraordinary and you've put more effort into this credit app than the blokes at parts express. Haha.  

Please do visit us if ever in Nashville as I'd love to meet you in person and enjoy a cold beer together. Certainly it would be my honor.  

I will do my best to keep "penny" from faxing your line any more.  

Kind regards

See people - this is what happens when we all look out for each other. 

Texts With Melissa: Adult Dreams & Gloating

Whoever said you can't find joy in someone else's suffering. . .well. .doesn't come to my blog that often. In this edition, the only reason I am communicating with Melissa is to prove the place I work is better because I get to go outside. . .

Let's break it down!

And that's how friends do.