Reading - Revisited!

Remember back when I was going to read books? – I was going to read 20 books (Check out the post - Read 20 Books and the subsequent failure documented here - Read 20 Books: Abandoned) and didn't even get through one.

While it might have taken me about a year, but, I figured out why the whole thing wasn't working. I was listen to other people – that’s the WORST.

I was trying to read books people were telling me they liked – books that were on best seller lists and all that. There is nothing wrong with being on the best seller list and all of the books were great on their own, but, they weren't for me. I found them boring.

My fiance likes to comment how my brain is always working. Sure, I like to have a couple mental projects going at any time for my own amusement but I wouldn't say I’m always thinking up things. Anyhow, I had been digging into the 1972 Andes flight disaster which I learned about through the tail end of I Am Alive: Surviving the Andes Plane Crash directed by Brad Osborne.

I got out my tablet and downloaded the book Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home by Nando Parrado and  Vince Rause. I read it in one sitting.

On a whim, I also downloaded Should You Be Laughing at This? By Hugleikur Dagsson which I enjoyed. I did laugh. I did share some of the images. 

Hahah. . .there’s a child in the parent’s butt. . haha.

I had also been watching some interviews and digging around in Nazi Germany. World War I and World War II were both brutal and fascinating times for me. I had been looking into the rise of the Gestapo and moreso on the reflections of German citizens who supported and then watched the rise and fall of the Third Reich. 

A lot of my teaching had focused only on Jewish experiences but I was curious about the German and non-Jewish experience. What would I have done if I was in Germany at the time? How did people cope and function and what was it like to be caught up in a movement that chose what was believed to be a savior. . . 

I am fascinating by the chain of events, the politics and, indeed, the PR surrounding the Third Reich which offered the humiliated and desperate German people a solution with legs. There were, of course, many people offering salvation to the Germans after WW1. The control Hitler was able to grasp and use was remarkable. The ability to turn citizens against citizens while giving those citizens something to blame for any hardship and the ruthlessness in which those who questioned were quietly and swiftly killed was almost unbelievable.

 Anyhow, I digress.

I read Hitler's Last Secretary: A Firsthand Account of Life with Hitler by Traudl Junge in one sitting – it was fascinating. I then read Inside the Gas Chambers: Eight Months in the Sonderkommando of Auschwitz by Shlomo Venezia. Then, Saved by the Enemy by Craig Ledbetter.

I just started The Hangman's Daughter series by Oliver Pötzsch to bring in some fiction. I’m not sure if I will like it or not, but, it seems to be something up my alley. I actually have a wish list of 12 other books that caught my eye. I even decided to give The Poisonwood Bible a shot because someone did recommend it to me.  

So, I have been reading a lot. I can normally average half a book in a day – normally I read them all in one sitting.

This means, I really need to get out biking.

Oh, sweet balance.

Humans of New York:The Chess Hustler

This article is from the Humans of New York which was started by Brandon (I don't know him, I'm just taking this from his "About" page):

My name is Brandon and I began Humans of New York in the summer of 2010. HONY resulted from an idea that I had to construct a photographic census of New York City. I thought it would be really cool to create an exhaustive catalogue of the city’s inhabitants, so I set out to photograph 10,000 New Yorkers and plot their photos on a map. 

One of the stories I really liked was "The Chess Hustler" which is a story about a man named Harry who plays chess to make money for drugs.

Growing up, my Dad and I would play chess and I actually played chess starting in elementary school and up until probably high school. I'm not very good at it - I never got the magic, really. I don't think I ever won many matches.

Harry sets up cheese in three stages:

“The beginning stage is philosophy. You haven’t made any moves yet. All experience is ahead of you. Everything is potential. So you choose a philosophy to guide you. The second stage is mathematics. . .the game is underway now. You've made choices that cannot be unmade. Potential becomes experience, and there are fewer and fewer paths that you can take. So precision and calculation become more important.. [And the third stage] Science. The endgame.”

In middle school, I figured out how to beat people based on who they were, not so much on checkmate. I knew, for example, all I had to do was capture the queen when I was playing my friend Russ. I knew I only had to draw out a game as long as possible to win over Adam. I knew I just had to make a couple clever moves and be unemotional when playing Bill. I people hacked, I never played chess.

Harry people hacks on a different level than I ever could. It is a new education for me, not one based on how the pieces move, but on how to read people:

Everything you need to know about a person you can tell by watching them play chess. The rooks represent security. Watch a woman play chess. Most women will trade a lot of pieces to protect their rooks. . .The knight represents how you travel. It’s the most mobile piece on the board. It’s the only piece that can jump over other pieces. Watch how a player protects his knights, and you’ll know how much he values mobility. . .Your pawns represent your material assets.Your bishop represents your heart. It’s your closest friend . . The queen is your power. [And your king]  The king is you.

Harry gave me a new understanding and appreication for the game. He also reminded me how - with enough motivation - you can turn anything into some type of profit or hustle. Good to bad, there is a real American feel to him - using whatever he had to get what he most wanted. If only it wasn't drugs, how far could he go?

Read the full article here - The Cheese Hustler.

The Adventure Continues
Do you have a suggestion or want to see me attempt something and write about it? Drop me an email at AdventuringAmanda@gmail.com with your suggestions

Why David's Bridal Sucks

I really hate David's Bridal. My rants about the handful of times I have entered their stores or been forced to buy things from them have been dramatic messes. The important thing to remember, is I am aware of how this company operates so I can better avoid the disasters.

Bridesmaids
I decided to bring my ladies to David's Bridal because they have a huge selection and a lot of their items are reasonable priced. Since I wanted to let my friends pick out what they wanted, it seemed the best option. Plus, it has been a couple years since I had been to one.

I hate everything wedding, by the way. I should mention that is not the fault of David's Bridal.

The Store
When I arrived for my appointment - the best part - it was crammed with brides and whatnots. I had to "check in" by giving the. . .uhh. . .hostess(?) all my personal information. I asked her why I needed to do that. She said for purchases. I said I wasn't purchasing anything. She said it was just easier. I asked if I would get any emails or spam from David's Bridal. She said no. I even opted out (on the iPad that sort of worked ok, I guess) while it required me to fill in my address, phone number, wedding date, name, cat's name, parents name, wedding colors, favorite Disney princess. . .well, you get the idea.

Then we stood around for a good 30 minutes. It wasn't too bad because I could catch up with my friends for a bit while we waiting for our appointment. I assumed one of the 3-4 clerks hanging out at the second podium talking would be responsible for that.

Nope. There was some guy who came over and directly solicited his services by saying, "Excuse me, who is the bride?" He was some type of DJ. He gave me his card - not even thinking that he would never be contacted because he interrupted me in the middle of talking without making it even a bit ok. Next, he insulted both me and my fiance when I said, "I'm not handling the music stuff, my fiance is. So, I can take your card but I'm not doing anything with it."

Of course, in the hell that is David's Bridal, he laughed and said how men are unreliable and I'm taking a big risk leaving it up to him.

If that his is impression of a grown man - he must have gotten it from himself.

That card went into the trash.

Remember Me?
After about 30-45 minutes of standing around, I went to podium one and asked if we could dare look at some dresses. Podium one lady looked at me as if she never saw me before and said, "Oh, yeah. Sure. You can do that whenever." She pulled over a clerk from podium two and they took us to a fitting room.

The dress is nice!

For the rest of the day, I ran back and forth to get sizes and dresses for my friends since the clerk assigned to us - a younger girl who obviously had the inner child knocked out of her years ago - was too busy.

We did find a dress everyone liked - score! So they I went to pick out colors. Purple, blue and green.

Oh wait - they don't have green anymore.

What? Yeah. In the color swatches you can pick, no one removed the colors they didn't have anymore. I picked wine and got us the HECK OUT OF THERE!

I did take pictures of the dresses, tags and SKU codes - everything - since one of my friend's couldn't be there that day. I knew I couldn't trust David's Bridal with that detail.

The Aftermath
So. .then there is this is the email sitting in my spam box:

Good thing I checked, right? This email was sent to me but it was not me who made the purchase, it was one of my bridesmaids - Cindy (she's pretty cool).

David's Bridal is one of the circles of Hell.

The letter I wrote:

I can ever express my displeasure in David's Bridal enough to people. I try to temper it by saying you do have a warehouse sized inventory so you have selection working for you.

Three ladies came to your store and made substantial purchases and provided their personal information to you - they told they would be informed when their orders would arrive.

That was a lie - as I expected. I continue to get emails about their orders.

Why did this happen? Because while I have purchased nothing at David’s Bridal I still had to provide my information to your store for some unknown reason - even after the sales lady told me I wouldn't receive anything. Another lie.

And while I have opted out over four times from your emails (including when I had to “sign up” in store), I can’t believe you would treat your paying customers in such a way.
At this point, I will tell everyone it is not worth doing any business with David’s Bridal. After all, I now have to do YOUR job of informing YOUR paying customers that their orders have arrived. Good thing I checked my spam account and saved your store the embarrassment of getting calls from your customers wondering why their orders have not arrived on time.

But, it’s not really embarrassment. Your store staff is never informed or organized – nor have I ever been to a David’s Bridal in two states with one staff member who was remotely helpful. One did tell me she was “busy” and couldn’t help me pull dresses after she made a big deal about being our go-to helper. And another told me “oh sorry, yeah, sure” when I was standing around for an hour waiting for my “appointment” and finally asked if I could just take my ladies to look on dresses. Oh, and I have been openly solicited by your “partners” who rudely barged in on my private conversations to shove business cards at me.

Ok, that was not the letter I sent. That was too ranty. I think if you are going to complain, you need to be specific and address issues clearly that most upset you. I stuck with a much cleaned-up version that stuck to the fact that David's Bridal's customers were not being informed that their purchases had arrived. I did my best to do this.

This was my message:

Sent: Mar 7, 2014 10:59:36 AM
Subject: I want to provide some feedback about David's Bridal 

Three ladies (my bridesmaids) came to your store and made substantial purchases and provided their personal information to you they were told they would be informed when their orders arrive. 

That was a lie - as I expected. I continue to get emails about their orders. 

In fact, I have purchased nothing at your company and opted out of getting any emails from your company three times. I never even wanted to provide my information to you in the first place and your sales lady easily lied and said it was required AND if I opted out I wouldnt get any mailings. I opted out three times and still get messages. 

All your emails to me go into my spam. It was a random chance I even opened one of your emails in my spam-box. Good thing I did, else these ladies would never have known their orders arrived. I did the job that your store should have been doing. 

I can understand your want to spam me, you think you can get money from me. However, I can believe you treat your paying customers in such a way. I have had to deliver messages on your behalf and now have had to apologize on your behalf 

I will never purchase anything at you store. And you just lost three more people who never will, either.

I got this message back:

Hello Amanda,
Thank you for your recent inquiry. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. In order process your removal request, can you please provide us with the following information at your earliest convenience?
? Please provide the first and last name (with spelling), you registered with
? Email address and telephone number utilized for the registration
? Please provide all telephone numbers you?ve been receiving calls on. For example, your home phone, cell, work phone numbers, etc.
? What are the telephone numbers of the incoming calls that have been calling you?
? Have you spoken to the contact calling you? If so, what did they offer to you during the call?
? Names of companies calling, and/or names of callers
We thank you in advance for your continued patience and for providing the additional information stated above, as soon as you provide a response we will work on resolving this on your behalf as quickly as possible.
The David?s Bridal online customer service team strives to ensure that each customer is completely satisfied with our assistance. However, if you have any questions or concerns, we are here to help and would love to hear from you! Please feel free to reply to this email or call us at 866-973-0238.
Thank you,
Laura
David's Bridal
E Commerce Customer Service
1-866-973-0238

As you can see - even David's Bridal's customer service or complaint department is pretty off-course. I appreciated the quick reply but not a form letter about me wanting to be removed from their mailing list. The real issue - from a customer service standpoint - really was there are customers not being told their orders are in and I am the only person who can tell them. 

I replied with:

Unfortunately - I don't trust Davids Bridal enough to provide this information for two reasons: 

1. This is a form letter. I don't see any real understanding of the issue or ability to correct it. 

2. If I am actually removed, there is no guarantee anyone will be contacted when my bridesmaids dresses arrive. They have 14 days to pick up their dresses per the email, I can easily see them not being contacted and their dresses being re-sold or returned.

Thank you for processing my email and the quick response.

I guess Laura wasn't really "here to help and would love to hear from [me]" because I never got a reply to this. I suppose, at the end of the day, David's Bridal has the money and there is no point in living up to the jibber-jabber in their form letters. 

Anyhow - stay away from David's Bridal if you can. In the wedding industry, it's normally hard to do that.

What Women...what?

What do women want?

I want to stop hearing this question - I want to stop reading it. I want to stop hearing the same stupid, canned answers that feeds into stereotypes.

I don't want the content of my soul and specific nature of my frustration, flaws or feelings reduced to a small box that equally alienates my gender and bleaches my person.

Women don't want.

A woman - well - just ask her and understand she has probably only ever thought of this question in the context of the whole world - the glossy you-must-want-because-you-are-incomplete-without-something-more-than-what-you-are whole world.

Most of the time - I want a nice word, a snack and a laugh.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test again. This time there was an improvement – I scored two points toward the T. Making me an XXTX.

Whoa - One study found personality disorders as described by the DSM overall to correlate modestly with I, N, T, and P, though the associations varied significantly by disorder. The only two disorders with significant correlations of all four MBTI dimensions were schizotypal (INTP) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (ISTJ). (That's Wikipedia!)

But, let me explain.

Me Explaining Area
Every time I take the Myers-Briggs  - which every conference and “personal development” type waste of time event makes you do – I fail it. I come up even-steven in each category or three out of four. I was told once I needed to retake it. I guess some people believe these tests are somehow infallible or they overcompensate by launching into discussions of free-will.

I think it’s better to take these tests as a foundation for learning how the world moves around the way you move around the world. No – that’s not an error. The world does move around us and we, in turn, move around the world. When you take a test like the Myers-Briggs, it’s better to then approach someone you want to know or work with and chat about past perceptions and future issues.

Help From My Friends
Bob, my dashingly handsome fiancee decided I'm an ENTP. I suppose, as long as it's flattering, I'm all for it.

As are most people.

Rant Time
I, however, hate it. I really hate how everything seems to start with taking this personality test.

I also equally hate people using their type as an excuse – the most obvious are the extroverts and introverts. There are really very few true extroverts and introverts in the world. Most of us weigh pros and cons in specific situations and make choices. But, don’t tell that to a MBTI fan.

MBTI fans – the new militant vegan!

Next time, on a Manda rants: I love vegetables and animals – one I love too little, one I love too much.